MARK! I don't think you have to be a hippie to enjoy this song:

But that didn't answer the question. Do you part toward your crooked nose or away from it?

WAIT! You can balance your face with the part in your hair? Does it go with or away from the "grain" of your nose?

Have they ever heard of half-identical twins? It's a theory that sometimes an egg splits before fertilization, meaning 75% of DNA is shared. I'm an identical twin and two of our best friends were fraternal (different blood types) but SO MUCH MORE IDENTICAL than us.

I will say, Ashley looks exactly like the old Mary Kate in that photograph, I assumed they were talking about how different Ashley looked.

Half-identical. It's a theory, but it makes sense. One egg that splits BEFORE fertilization, ergo two different sperm. I'm an identical twin and two of our best friends growing up were fraternal twins (different blood types, like the Olsens) who were SO MUCH MORE IDENTICAL THAN US. We also came from a weird small town…

Because it's a direct quote?

Except the polling places used to literally be right in your neighborhood, walking distance. I didn't know that about the unofficial places. I wish they were more clear about it.

OMG, Mark, I ain't got the time to be browsing PetFinder right now looking for a puppy, don't bait me with your claptrap puppy sandwich talk. Plus my fiance would be annoyed if he came home to a third dog right as we're wrestling with how to take care of the two we already have over the holidays. GET OUTTA MY FACE…

Nobody asked you to weep for anyone. They asked you to consider someone else's circumstances. There's a long way between "poor people" and "bums buying 24 packs of beer". Like single mothers working two or three jobs? Jesus, you're dense. And an asshat.

Oh, I know, and I have no problem getting stamps. Just a lot of people don't know that and also they don't carry stamps in the grocery store or the Walgreens in my neighborhood (was trying to save a trip to the post office once and found this out).

Well, we only have mail in voting and you know what, Mr. Jerk, it can prove pretty difficult for poor people, not just paying for the stamp, but having the time to get to one of the rapidly disappearing post offices to buy the damn stamp. Who have the right to vote, despite apparently being unworthy in your eyes.

The numbers seemed lower when I check? Also, I've been informed that they have a lot more depository boxes there then we do up here. I think a lot of people just don't want to/can't/etc. with the whole putting a stamp on it thing. I mean, I voted, but I did complain as I was putting stamps on.

We do too here in Washington State. But they require a stamp (or a trek to the ballot box depositories, of which there are like three for the whole city of Seattle) and it feels a bit like a poll tax/lazy people like my sister who never buy stamps probably don't bother to send them in.

Indiana got something to say to you.

We need a city so we can start narrowing this down a bit. I am a writer, and there's a 72% chance I'm Facebook friends with this guy. I just need some clues to narrow it down a bit...

You sound like a real peach! Too bad I won't ever find myself at your house for dinner, I bet it's real, real fun!

Oh, god, you'd have to deal with, gasp, the vegetarians!

What website are you using? Or do others use? I'm too lazy for this wedding planning shizz. :(

Where the effety is he?