Yes, let the underpaid Chinese factory workers make your bud vase for you, that's what I always say.

It's no different than using a decimal point.

It was just a lovetap, you feminazi!

Well, how silly it is that in America you can't touch a woman.

How about we just call it "The Sleeping Place of the People Who Aren't Going to Move Away for College and then Never Come Home to Visit Often Enough to Please Their Mothers or Call Often Enough to Please Their Fathers" Room and call it a day?

Ooooooooo, that's a good one! I sort of blanked as soon as I saw the question "who" the same way I would if someone asks "Who's your favorite band?" I become a person who has never even seemed to have heard the name of a band suddenly.

You could go way out, forget about body of work, and award it to someone like Mark Leidner or Zach Schomburg or Blueberry Morningsnow.

I wish the poetry committee would be a bit riskier. I've never been a fan of Olds, but I know many people are. Still, it never feels like they look at anything other than the "big names" of poetry (I know, this is poetry and that's an oxymoron).

Does that look A LOT like Kendra Whatshername (Wilkinson? Wilkerson?), Hef's ex-"girlfriend"?

Or even that someone you know IRL, like from school or work, isn't going to end up revealing shit that you'd rather never known about.

Amen.

No, that's not what I meant, obviously. But the whole "spend some time getting to know them before you put yourself in their physical presence" ain't a bad idea on its own. Obviously, it's not 100% foolproof at all, but it helps.

Uh, yeah. Who does that? Other than me and the literal tons of people I met on OKC. Good one, bro.

It gets easier if you spend some time emailing and messaging and such. It really does.

I never quite understand this. I dated LOTS of men from OkCupid before I met my current boyfriend (on OkCupid) when I moved all alone to a new city. I had two miserable dates with people who had somehow flown under my creep radar, but that's it. And I cut the dates short and got out of there as soon as I realized (one…

I wasn't scared of them until I was bit by a Brown Recluse while I was sleeping. Nothing like a little flesh necrosis to turn your perspective right around!

This reminds me of a few kids who were in the same situation when I was a kid. One girl always smelled like pee and when we finally brought it up to her (yes, us kids in 5th grade, we came from a small town and were actually a ridiculously empathetic lot) she was like, My little sister and I share a bed, she wets it,…

Yes, let's make everyone into doctors and engineers because the demand for those jobs is unlimited???

I took a Reviewing the Arts class as an undergrad where we had to, well, learn how to write reviews and critiques of art. My prof was also a movie reviewer at the Sun-Times, so he arranged for me to attend a high society gala dinner that Mr. Ebert was hosting at his home for big donors of his now defunct (I think)…

I almost went to your program. And I did scoff when I heard who ended up taking him in (no offense, doesn't reflect poorly on you!).