As a Raps fan who owes him a lot, I look forward to quietly enjoying Kawhi Leonard’s future successes. HOWEVER, winning a championship immediately would have, somehow, diminished last year’s championship run. So eat shit Kawhi, you made your bed; lay in it. (Good luck next year, though.)

Cannot fathom a reasonable explanation for the Tulsa rally FOLLOWING “It goes through air, Bob”.

Seriously. You drive a Bentley and get driven in a Rolls.
//flutters ascot

Why layer that with “oh fuck, Jeffrey has to use a cane now”?

It’s impossible to capture the extent in which this guy sucks.

Am I the only one that actively stays away from nostalgia, due to the fact that it only reminds me of my own mortality?

You’ll realize Killer Mike’s opinions on matters are trash if you let him rant. Just watch his Netflix show.

At last, we can fit your mom’s entire ass in the frame. 

I would start a nuclear program, for reasons undivulged. 

A good way to disprove the idea that voter fraud is not a problem is to create some. Check and mate, libs.

I understand that idea, but wouldn’t that mean something that requires more of your brain? Like, immersing yourself into something, as opposed to something that allows you to look away and be with your thoughts?

I’ve never understood the whole just-want-to-switch-my-brain off thing. I don’t think I ever watched Breaking Bad and felt like I was doing a research paper.

I think the office sink is a good indicator that humanity is made up of a collection of individualistic apes that deserve the fire.

ZOINKS!

An unforgivable omission.

One of the first lady’s stated goals for the renovation was to “fulfill the dynamic needs of the modern presidency”

I thought this ghoul had cancer.

These past few years (I wonder why) have been inarguably more racist.

It’s always the pretty ones.