It’s pretty cool that Walmart sells body bags.

Don’t microwave it the next day. Put it in a pan (cast-iron, pref) and cover the top in tinfoil. Throw that bich in the oven for like 20 minutes on 350 and it’ll taste like new. 

Pretty cool to have Stevie Wonder watching your livestream. Like, with his eyes that work. #stevewonderisnotblind

Probably because the guillotines have been “in the shop” for about 3 years.

God’s plan. 

“When this issue arose, Senator Burr immediately asked the Senate Ethics Committee to conduct a complete review, and he will cooperate with that review as well as any other appropriate inquiry,” Fisher continued.

These people aren’t even afraid of the guillotines anymore. Follow the leader; this is the era of the grift

Seriously. They’ve forgotten they’re supposed to say the loud parts quiet. 

I don’t need the goddamn end of the world to tell me to watch MAD MAX FURY ROAD AGAIN, PAL

That’s a map of pollution, not Chinese people.

Stupid goddamn 11 year olds who drove themselves to the beach. WHEN WILL THE YOUTHS GET IT?

Perhaps naively, I think that even conservatives/republicans have to be coming around that you need an adult in that job; after seeing how Trump has (objectively) been incapable of doing the job when a job was most needed.

Labelling oneself “a conservative” will one day be met with the same disgust as people who refer to themselves as “cannibals”.

Do you think Trump’s sleep has been interrupted at all during this? Like, has his bedtime and wake-up routine changed?

/whispers

Last week he drops an album called Donald Glover Presents and then deletes it. Suddenly, his website donaldgloverpresents.com has a countdown on it.

/over a bowl of cereal

*psst* there will be no consequences

Unless her “karate instructor” has it, she’ll probably be fine. 

Although I man not agree with the Vice President on every issue, I know he has a good heart and he’s motivated by his love for our country and the American people.