“adding this back in and cutting the Casino Stuff completely might have been a better idea..” YES!!! you need to be writing this shst man!!!

I like the ‘deconstruct’ in quotes there. It’s the same kind of “deconstruction” Zack Snyder does to Superman. 

The third lesson is Luke Skywalker works for Valve, and doesn’t know how to count to 3

Great, now I wish they had made Snoke 5" tall like the Fear demon on Buffy.

You’re having to tell audiences that the movie was well received by audiences?

Yes, a sad, sad end to the life of Luke Skywalker. I cannot comprehend the hyperbolic reviews TLJ is getting. It’s not the worst movie ever - but the bad editing, bizarre story structure, unnecessary multiple B-plots, and mishandling of beloved characters make it below average at best. Plus the fact it is when you…

Indeed, I’m genuinely surprised that Rian Johnson skipped this opportunity to wipe his ass on the corpse of Luke Skywalker, after shitting all over him so badly for 2 hours. 

“...third lesson, there is no second lesson. Fourth lesson, always consider lessons should never end. Fifth lesson... wait, where are you going?! I’m almost done.”

Gotta tell you, if you don’t wanna be spoiled, reading a comment section is a bad idea right now.

You know after watching a recent video on how editing helped the original pretty much saved the original Star Wars, I can’t help but feel that perhaps adding this back in and cutting the Casino Stuff completely might have been a better idea...

All it really spoils is Luke teaches Rey (WHAT A TWIST!) and the lesson gets interrupted. That’s it. Same thing that happened in Empire with Luke and Yoda and in the prequels with Obi-Wan and Anakin: Jedi training gets interrupted a lot.

I figured the third lesson might be that the Jedi don’t count that high. Always two there are; number one and number two.

The best part is that nobody knows Luke is dead except Luke. The entire First Order, and Kylo Ren in particular, is likely convinced that there’s this massively powerful Jedi still out there, somewhere, that now he’s pissed, and that they can’t be sure whether he’s there or not even if they see him.

Lesson The Third;

Didn’t Luke tell Ren just before he disappeared, “See you around, kid”? The impression I got was that Luke’s Force Ghost was going to absolutely haunt Ren throughout the third movie.

I dunno; that fight scene was already a pretty epic troll.

“Don’t try to murder your pupil in his sleep. And if you do, don’t hesitate. What, are you dense? Did I really need to spell it out?”

I like the idea that Luke’s third lesson would ultimately have turned out to be wrong and it was really *he* who learned the final lesson about failure being the greatest teacher.

I’d like to think that Ghost Luke will appear in Episode X to give Rey the Third Lesson. And then he’ll appear to Kylo Ren in order to troll him, just like Yoda trolled Luke.

Come on, what’s one more “Fuck you” in Fuck You: The Last Star Wars Movie?