Back in the day, Grantland used to run the BQBL, the Bad Quarterback League, where you got points for screwing up, and lost points for exceptional performance. It’s where I learned that the obvious acronym for “Touchdown after Interception” was TAINT. (TAINTs were worth 25 points.)

This is actually Brock telling Emmanuel “Come play quarterback for me. I can’t do this.”

I remember being like “Seriously?” when he did this.

Before anyone makes a case for Kaep, I will remind you that Brock is quite tall

Those gifs line up nicely to the refrain of “Brock Lobster”:

Kyrie Irving is an excellent example of how it’s sometimes a good idea not to listen to what someone says if you want to enjoy what they do.

Not to mention he’s literally complimenting the guys that hit him out there. Whether it’s him being genuinely nice or a head game (maybe both?) you’re just like wow what a cool guy.

Yeah, on-field, Luck is known for two things. One, in any given game, there will be about five plays where you wonder how he managed to do that. Two, there will also be about five different plays where you wonder how he managed to stand back up after taking a hit that would have liquefied Rand Paul. Off-field, aside…

*busts into room*
“Did somebody say percs?!?!”
~Jim Irsay

Irsay needs to take a chill pill. Then another one. Then crush up a third and bump it.

Somewhere Jay Cutler’s dull-eyed face just perked up

Hey, at least they were able to hang a banner while they still had a healthy Luck.

“You’ll be fine to start next week. Take two pills and call me in th- actually, give me those, just drink some water and you’ll be fine.”

“They obviously believed it because they did nothing to prepare for him not being there.”

I’m not a Colts fan, so this isn’t coming from a place of bias. I honestly feel so bad for Andrew Luck. He seems like a genuinely nice guy who has tried hard to be a positive person, a good teammate, and a role model. It sucks seeing this happen to him. Why can’t someone I hate get hurt and then betrayed by his team?!

There’s rich, there’s rich-rich and then there’s “accuse an elite athlete of faking a need for medical attention while consuming a trunkload of pharmaceuticals” rich..

Of course Irsay believes this. He also believes he earned his wealth by out-swimming his equally shitty competition.

It’s 2017. Of course the guy with a horseshoe up his ass blames Luck.

But I’ve been told that teams would rather have two shitty, but similar, QB’s than one shitty pocket passer and one decent guy who is athletic!

“A mobile quarterback obviously doesn’t work in our offense.”