Profiles in Courage? More like Pro-Lifes in Scourge

Hey, it’s only worth as much as a sick and/or insane warm-up shot, maybe even less, you can’t quantify that shit.

Sometimes the guests aren’t worth a da-ammmn

“I’d say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work”

Well maybe Noah will pick up the scoring slack (ball hits him in the head, is punctured by the steel hairpins securing his bun) (Knicks lose by 38)

The good news is that the NCAA National Championship game remains very non-hypothetically at 2 teams

The fight stopped when one of the patrons said “Joey, I’m not angry any more”

Just imagine 9000 celebrities, panelists, and presenters all doing Roy Schieder’s drug-addled morning wake-up regimen in All That Jazz.

Just imagine 9000 people, panelists, and presenters all doing Roy Schieder’s drug-riddled morning routine in All That Jazz

By salty do you mean hypertension-riddled?

“Mike McCarthy Calls Another Asinine 4th and Inches Play On His Own 42 Yard Line Leading To A Giants Touchdown, Thereby Secondarily Making an Even Bigger Fool If That Were Possible of Terry Bradshaw”

Enjoy it now while the coastline is at its present level.

I can’t believe news of Dykes didn’t leak.

At least you’re preemptively sketching out scenarios that very likely will not happen and therefore cannot be scientifically tested.

At least Beckham is coming up big, with 1st half yardage equivalent to his jersey number and drops equivalent to the missing articles of clothing on his party boat that would make Brad tell him “no dice” at the food court restaurant.

You automatically bring in proven veteran TJ Yates, who has a playoff win in his EXTENSIVE resume... Dupree should have been benched by Tomlin and then asked why he has the name of a 50s game show host.

OK I see the game but where is the pasty team of basement dwellers controlling these amazingly photorealistic video game avatars. It’s like e-sports but without the “e.” WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.

The real Roy Orbison would be cry-i-i-i-ying over this.

I do remember watching other people play video games but it was in person, it was Street Fighter II, and I was baked out of my fucking gourd.

This has precious little to do with e-sports, I want stories about how a team of people plays another team of people in a video game and a bunch of people watch those people and then it is broadcast to another set of people who have no fucking idea what’s going on but they’re fucking idiots.