Kate Bernot, you’ve gone and fucked up now. #THINKOFTHEIVDRUGADDICTS

I’ve never been a bouncer, but I used to work for a bank. Every year, we were given a book of IDs and it had samples of every North American drivers license/state ID card in circulation.  For example, if a state redesigned their drivers license, then it would show a sample of the old and the new one.  It also had a…

Other than “they travelled and died far from western civilization” their stories have nothing in common.

I said this above (people are going to think I’m selling this book) but there is a book that gets reprinted every year and costs like $25. When I was a bouncer I had my own copy in my back pocket so I didn’t have to get the bar copy every time I saw an out of state ID, which was very frequent (alumni-popular bar in a…

Who the fuck has a second ID? 

RIP

When I was in middle school I used to run a little slower to get to a fly ball just so I could dive or slide at the end and make the play look cooler. It only worked about half the time, but man did it look good when I made the play.

Sando isn’t an annoying term like “sammiches” — it’s a specific variant of a sandwich from Japan.

In my experience (which includes time in both Chicago and Denver) Fat Tire is far, far more ubiquitous than Two Hearted.  I love Two Hearted but think it is kinda outta bounds for this draft.

He probably has a financial advisor. I suggest he switches.

“Adding to those judgements, the August 2018 lawsuit that The Athletic uncovered, filed in New York Supreme Court, is asking for $6.6 million, including interest and legal fees.”

Any other fast food item is to be binged in a disgusting display shortly after purchase and then thrown away out in the dumpster so your spouse does not see what you’ve done again

I like how everyone is rattling off their bullshit regional chain restaurants. That’s against the rules, you don’t get to say the clearly better quality product holds up better than national stadium sponsoring size fast food fuckshacks.

Try to keep up here little guy. The post references Fox hosts discussing American culture. Which, in their twisted worldview, refers to white people in America. 

My wife hits a three every time we get intimate.

Or how he was more worried about his mom than he was about his own life...

If you want to figure out the difference between pro athletes and us regular folk, give this a try.

I USED to play with a good friend of mine, (still is), who had to line up every putt, from both sides, even when it was a four footer on the flatest green in the world. Senseless ritual for weekend duffers is unacceptable, unless there’s real money on the line (there never was).

He can’t use the door because his BALLS are too big.

The worst part of this is that you KNOW there were assholes watching this and thinking “maybe if I took it really slow on the greens like that, I could putt better.”  I gave up recreational golf years ago because so many jerks think they have to play like the pros and you can’t do a round in  under six hours or so as…