Papa Hitlers Pizza is terrible anyway. I mean, who puts sauerkraut on a pizza?

I just wanted to say, fuck you, for calling pizza, za.

Of course none of them can even smash a shitty coffee machine without mansplaining the entire time.

Kids are the worst. They’re basically like cats that you can’t pet and don’t make for nearly as good YouTube vids....

Also, if you are diabetic and pick your skin, there’s a chance of getting cellulitis, which is an infection under the skin. Trust me, you don’t want it. It is nasty painful as hell. Lesson learned.

“You’re involved in productive discussions with newly installed leadership! Take her away!”

Pretty sure that phone is filled with thoughts and prayers. If only we could get them out of there, we could do absolutely nothing.

The site I originally read this article on had her listed as a “Senior White House Advisor.”

“Oh, golly geez. So sorry to intrude there, eh. How about I leave this fresh bottle of maple syrup here to apologize. Again, so sorry there, eh.”

her 39-person bridal party

Looking at you Coach McBride ( from 5th grade) whotold me that my family was on TV last night. I asked him what did he mean and he said ,”The Flying Monkeys.” Being a smart ass from the jump, I replied with, “Yeah. They work for your mom and hate her guts.” He had nothing to say to me for the rest of the year. 30+…

He’s so upset the young man isn’t living up to his potential that he’d rather threaten to murder him? Yeah he can miss me with his trail of white tears bullshit. I bet if people started digging they’d find that this asshole has a proclivity for visiting statues dedicated to white men who fought for slavery to remain…

Replying to myself to make clear that I’m not an idiot, I am aware he made a complete fool out of himself. I’m asking about the fish. I am aware that my questions aren’t relevant or “the point”, so no need for multiple people to point that out.

Soooooo.......a few weeks ago, I shared with fellow Jez gals I was going in for my first mammogram. I was late commenting, so understandably it didn’t get a ton of responses. The ones I did get made me feel tons better and I REALLY love and appreciate the support. I was so freaked out (hypochondriac since age 8) that…

Just scatter broken glass in all the common areas. Done and done.

LOL that’s adorable. And if it were in any way comparable, Branson’s new child-free cruise ship would be illegal. But it’s not. Because you’re full of shit.

So the NYPD has already labeled this as terrorism. See if it is a brown guy it’s terrorism, if it is a white guy in a hotel suite with a bunch of guns shooting at concert goers it’s a lone wolf that just wants to exercise his second amendment rights.

I absolutely hate when they use the “they’re minors” defense. I was a minor who did stupid things. None of those stupid things every involved racism. There’s no excuse for doing some racist BS.

She doesn’t get to live in my house.

Siblings are only great if you get along or agree that you aren’t really friends. I have one sister who is my best friend. I also have a sister who has seen me as competition since I was born. I feel like if I ever got more in the spotlight than her, this is something that she would totally do. But would constantly…