Welp, if you are poor, you don’t deserve to eat.

I forgot how much that opening scene is so fantastic.

I make the Panang chicken recipe I found on LifeHacker a month ago. I make double portions and keep one for the days I don’t feel like cooking. Even if I don’t want to cook, it’s so fast and easy that it’s become my go to dish

She does not look 25. Being a racist is bad for your skin.

I tried explaining tipping percentages to my mother but she couldn’t/wouldn’t understand. She grew up and lived in poverty most of her life. My father controlled the purse strings so holding tight to her money is second nature.

The horse is innocent. He was framed by that sassy mare.

What is his address? I have a big bag of dicks to send his way.

Product exchange was very normal. I liked it because I had a car and got to run over the other store, it made a nice break in the day.

Kitler

Our specials would be gone an hour before close and people are furious. I don’t decide on the quantities that the kitchen preps. They look at previous sales and the day of the week and decide. The weather can be a factor.

Indeed, but this was last summer. It had been a super busy day at the restaurant, high schoolers had just graduated. We were the last table and the server was waiting for us to leave so she could go home. When I saw the tip I knew I had to add some more.

My mother. Four people means $4 is a good tip in her mind. The strange thing is she is super polite and no problem, she just doesn’t understand tipping. I slip the waitress more. 

I have First Aid/CPR certification. Which means that if someone at work cuts their finger etc. then I attend and put a bandaid on the finger. The worst thing I’ve had to do is pull out a splinter. I have no idea how I would react to a mass shooting. I hope I would go in and help but I’m not bragging to anyone about…

I’d love to be this batshit crazy entitled but I have to earn a living.

Please visit our working guillotine on your way out.

OK, now I want to show up at one of her events dressed as a peasant.

This happened several years ago, can’t remember where exactly but the couple showed up in full period costume and were refused admission because they were too big of a distraction.

But what if the T-Rex costume was lovingly recreated from dinosaur DNA and was a perfect replica?

Some of the stories. One married guy was met at the airport by his wife who dropped off his belongings. He was returning from a business trip with his GF. Another guy’s wife gave him the choice: lose half of everything he owned or give up the GF. One guy had a wife, GF and a married GF at the same time. The women…

This was back in the 80's as well. The Friday lunches that went late in the evening. The drinking, the partying. Sexual harrassement guidelines were just starting to be applied then and they were considered a joke. Honestly, I did have a great time for about 3 years but then I grew up, looked around and thought I can…