Okay, so this bitch is going home, facing charges and I want to know what the fuck does she say to her parents? What do they say to her? “Good job, kid, you did us proud?” Or do they disown her and wonder how they produced such an evil piece of garbage?

I have a friend who either sits cross-legged, legs tucked under ala Kellyanne Conway or “graceful” lounging poses because she thinks she looks like a fetching sprite. Instead, she looks like a sulky teen.

Don’t let anyone know about your windfall. Because sure as shit, a few of your fellow starving artists are going to react with envy and label you a sell-out.

Which is one reason I love the casinos in my province. Kids under 18 aren’t even allowed on the property.

I went on a cruise and they had a fully staffed kids club. But a few parents didn’t use it which meant that no matter what adult event you attended, there was always at least one tired, cranky kid. Piano bar, late night show, midnight buffet, spa, even the casino.

He regularly loses to Wendy Williams and is barely keeping up with Rachael Ray and Jerry Springer.

Bingo!

Naah, They’re white folks with guns, therefore not a threat.

Is the woman next to him supposed to be Melania on Inaugaration Day? Way classy if yes.

The only thing missing is Steve Bannon peering out from those spider webs shrieking, “I will have my revenge!”  while Phantom of the Opera music plays in the background;

It’s disrespectful to kneel during the anthem but it’s OK to have your flag pressed up against your taint?

Remember his genuine pleasure at greeting kids in their Halloween costumes? Especially the Little Pope? You can’t fake that level of pure enjoyment.

You could do a whole thread on how badly designed most Timmies drive thrus are. Mine empties into a parking lot. To the immediate left is the handicapped spaces which are always filled with big cars. So you have to inch out until you get a clear view of the parking lot. Meanwhile traffic is coming in from the right…

My sister got t-boned because an idiot in the left lane waved a driver through while cars were going straight in the right hand lane. If you can’t see if the road is clear, then don’t make the turn.

My friend taught me how to drive with truckers on the road. No. 1 don’t get in their blind spot, show them respect because they can crush you like a bug. And yes, use your indicators around them because it shows them that you are aware of their presence and for the love of everything mechanic on the road, do not brake…

Turn your headlights on when it is raining. Many cars are a neutral colour and even in a light rain they become almost invisible on the road. There is nothing like driving in the rain and in the road mist a car appears out of nowhere like a ghost ship.

Yep, looks legit. Except it’s only one tree and not 3 or 4.

My BF used to shout at our woodpecker banging away at the metal pole. “It’s fucking metal, you moron!”

We had one that spent part of the summer trying to drill through a metal pole. Then he discovered the tree next to it and the damage to the real tree is impressive.

My sister still had her sense of humour, she just didn’t feel like smiling at all. Her energy went into getting through her treatments. If someone told her to smile, I would’ve smacked them upside the head on her behalf.