Edit:

Kids love fairies, right?

Pulling the old Gary Lineker, eh? A cunning strategy.

How sad does your life have to be to get suckered into a cult that's mostly like taking evening self-help classes at a community college?

I wus gonna post that, Cheryl!

I'd be impressed if it melted.

Did the kid look like this?

Quooklyn sounds like the twee faerie Brooklyn that frickin' China Miéville made up.

These flavors would work well with gin.

FINISH HIM!

Happy Robanukah! A great cybernetic miracle happened here!

BTW- my recent favorite Clickhole article:

Do what everyone else does- rub one out in the supply room.

I wouldn't normally say this, because of the pervasiveness of the prison-industrial complex, but plant drugs on his shit. Seriously. Because fuck this guy.

I love your festive seasonal name-change!

Is that a four-pointer? Who the fuck wears a four-pointer?

Ooo! I am going to fuck up a Renoir!

You forgot Cinco de Mayo.

This is the face of the drunk girl at the party who has something *really important* to tell you.