I knew some vegan straight-edge dudes back in the day who would have been seriously pissed if this happened to them.

Of course, Chuck Johnson secretly dreams of being the cute popular girl.

What Chuck Johnson thinks he looks like:

"I'll allow it."

"Five Years' Service...Ten Years' Service...Fifteen Years' Service...Punctuality Award..."

"So how does this 'hot rack' system work again? Who gets to be the big spoon, and who gets to be the little spoon?"

There are plenty of places all over the world with names like that, whose original meanings have been supplanted by conventional usage. The name of place where I live right now just means "Narrows Where the Trees Stand in the Water." The name Osaka just means "Big Hillside." New York is just "New Place of the Yew…

I pull up that video of Marcus Bachmann dancing on youtube, turn the volume down, and play old Judy Garland records.

I think she's wearing mixed fibers in that picture.

"The report's full of crap."

LOOK AT ME MA! I MADE IT! I'M OK!

Eh- I've never eaten there.

I'm not really up to date on my West Texas Italian eateries.

I think that the ALL YOUR BREAD waiter needs to make an reservation at a certain pizza place in West Texas.

This happened to my mom, back in the early '80s. The best part is, we were at one of the few Japanese restaurants in Toronto at the time because 10-year-old me was super into Samurai. I think probably because I had been allowed to watch Shogun.

Nah- I think it's a Breen.

Waaait...that doesn't work?

That's why she only drinks distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure grain alcohol.