Hypocorrectical

Cool down with a nice sip of what I can only assume is Mello Yello in that bottle you dropped on the floor, dummy!

Plug it in in one of the cheap states, cheap skate!

Much to my surprise, I’m in!

Plug it in somewhere else, dummy!

Pro Tip: Put the back on the front so it has two butts.

This Cinderella reboot got dark.

In Air Canada’s defense, Air Canada’s chatbot is as competent as Air Canada is!

That explains your one star Uber rating.

“Honey?”

In their defense, it’s the only part of the subway that doesn’t smell like pee!

You know, if this keeps up I might start to believe that Elon doesn’t think things through.

Me taking off my shoes isn’t so gross now, is it?!

If cars from the 80s are so great, how come so few of my kids were conceived in them?!

Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you got ‘til acorn?
They paved paradise to put up a parting shot.

This dyno measures emotion.

I showed this to my wife, but she still says I have to take the lawnmower engine off the dinner table.

Wrong! Tesla Autopilot is perfectly safe! It’s reality that’s too dangerous!

First, joy was up, and zee Fronch people were happy from awl the happiness. But then they reali-zed that dip down inside, they were empty of ennuie, weech mayad them sad, so they gave up happiness for ennuie, for Fronce! Libairtee, Eggwualitee, Ennuie! You would nowt undairstand. You have no, how you say?, culchair.

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