modusoperandi0
Modusoperandi
modusoperandi0

ND. My heart says yes but my head say no way.

I wired it backwards and almost died!

[Amazon, interior. Jeff Bezos is pacing the floor, stopping to quiz each employee.]

YOU CANT SAY TRANSPORTATION WITHOUT TRANS!

In my defense, Apple Maps told me it was a road!

On this very night, ten years ago, along this same stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst accident I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building. And when they finally pulled the driver’s body from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like this...

Instead of a backup camera, use the camera on the phone, dummy!

As a hipster, I have to ask, are they compatible with rotary phones?

Who better to rid the State of harmful regulations than Elon Musk, who refuses to paint things Safety Yellow because he doesn’t like the color?!

Do you really want cruise passengers getting Norwalk and puking and pooping all over your house?

Worse, as soon as they let it out, it started meowing to be let back inside again!

[France, interior. Le Driver pooshes l’accelerator tres far, activating the audible warning “Zut Alors! Zut Alors!”]

[Parking garage, interior. Under the buzzing lights, two gangs face each other. One from each gang steps forward. A third person ties the left wrist of one to the left wrist of the other, then steps back. Both pull their closed switchblade keys, pop the keys out then, after a pause, fall comically in their haste to

Still better than Clippy.

Look, except for everything after this part of my sentence here, swapping a Tesla Roadster to a gas engine makes perfect sense!

The passengers go underneath, in the boom bay.

Pro Tip: Put the top up.

[Mercedes-Benz dealership, interior, phone in Sales department rings.]

It wasn’t me. Anybody want some quiche? I made way, way too much.

A million dollars? *Pbbt!* I could die for way cheaper than that!