I don’t want to sound cold and uncaring, but listen, thrifting is one of the few sources of dopamine left in my exhausting suburban existence. I will dragging my white housewife ass out of the house, over to Starbucks, and then on my monthly Goodwill trip and you can pry my vintage Baby Phat jeans out of my cold, dead…

I saw something one time that said something to the effect “anything that only men like sucks” (I’m getting it wring i just woke up) but Joe is at the top of the list.  

Its hard to think of anything worse than antivax, but shaming someone back into smoking might be close. What a toxic combo.

You know if it’s a girl they’ll name her Diana.

I mean, I could assume most of that from common sense. If my husband was traveling to another country I’d expect to talk to him every day, I’d expect a husband to be concerned about leaving his wife at homewhen she’s in the third trimester and has a little kid. 

Ok Gen Z, when we tried to tell you not to bring back low rise jeans, this is what we were trying to protect you from. Now yall are going to start getting tramp stamps.

For real. Especially if you think whatever you reply is gonna be shared all over insta. 

I don’t think I’ve ever been to a fro-yo place that didn’t have some sort of lower sugar option that would be suitable for diabetics. 

Yes, like there are health reasons to avoid sugar other than weight control. I come from a long line of people with various pancreatic problems, sugar (and booze!) are not good for me!

They should hire me to cuddle the dog every time he gets nervous. Problem solved.

They should hire him as a secret service agent. 

Buy more than you think you need. Don't by the natural stuff unless you want your place to reek of clove oil indefinitely  (ask me how I know!) Also warm water + sugar + borax (gotta google the right proportions). 

Also if you hate the gays that much I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be shopping at Walmart, Target loves some pride merch too. 

I don't think I could ever be in a room with Jojo, because she's just like, a LOT, but my kid loves her. I did explain traction alopecia to my 5 yr old and why we can't wear our hair like that all the time.

Every one in my house gained a bunch of weight during quarantine. Probably because we actually, you know, stayed home (unlike a lot of people we know). But am I going to hop on the intuitive eating wagon and learn to love my body the way it is? Hell no, I'm going to go back to counting calories and exercising because…

Seriously thought I was gonna get the meat sweats just reading this. That’ds why the Brazilian steakhouse is a once a year thing.

I don't digest onions and garlic well and now my mom is supposed to be on low salt diet. I don't know what the acronym would be but I miss having flavor in my food.

I’m guessing it comes down to whatever is on her SAG card right? If they got it wrong on her first credited role then her SAG card probably says Thandie. Isn’t that why some actors change their names, someone is already registered with their name?

Asking the real questions, if you’re doing unnecessary international travel while pregnant during a pandemic I'm already judging the hell out of you, and I'm usually in the "leave pregnant women alone and let them have their caffeine and zoloft" camp.

I mean, white people who regularly use Facebook might be the demographic you’re looking for.