Question for baseball rule book aficionados: did Desmond fuck up by waiting in the batter’s box after making contact? If he runs immediately and “accidentally” interferes with McCann’s throw to third while still in the baseline, would he be called out? Perhaps he thought it was foul, but I feel like he could have…

I’m a bit alarmed by the “Bar-b-quin’ with my HONEY” graphic on the bag. The honey looks like cum. Like you BBQed with your honey, and then had sex, and then jizzed all over my chips. I don’t trust it. Anyway, stay in school. I like rap-themed snacks that have a positive message.

Prince approves!

“so your saying we won something! WE’LL TAKE IT!”

—Redskins fans

The fact that it appears to be a Trader Joe’s bag really ties the whole thing together.

Sidebar: I like the term “Ballghazi” and respect the editorial commitment to using it exclusively — but I feel like you guys are swimming upstream here. “Deflategate” is the name everybody knows, and calling it something else seems, I don’t know, self-serving. It’s sort of like how the White House still refers to ISIS…

Darren McFadden is like one of those light cycles from Tron- he can move fairly quickly, but only in straight lines and if anyone touches him, he disintegrates.

Loved this.

Wait, I thought she was gonna make three points? Why did she stop at two?

OH GOD YOU GUYS, I THINK ISIS GOT HER!

But they were damn fine paragraphs.

Filthy move by Coutinho to create the space for a shot, too.

She’s a paralegal. #mysterysolved

Your last sentence is a pitch-perfect description of her letter.

Her way of turning a phrase reminds me of this gem.

My favorite part is the part where she thinks she’s a good writer. So, all of it I guess.

Ha, that’s probably it. We also had to say the pledge of allegiance before every game. Looking back, it’s kind of weird . But like you said, when you’re 12, you don’t really think about it...you just say it and then go play ball.

Well, this was in Montana in the 80s and early 90s. Not sure if it’s still practiced.

I’m 36 years old and haven’t played baseball since I was 14, but I still remember the Little League Pledge verbatim for some reason:

Where’s the left-hand finish, Beadle? MARK IT ZERO!

Bastard beat me to it. Scott’s Tots!