*sigh*

Insisting that the rest of the English-speaking world adhere to your particular syntactic preferences is not a path that will lead to happiness and contentment. Insisting that the rest of the English-speaking world adhere to your particular syntactic preferences is, however, a terrific way to feel smug and superior to…

I think this was where the sketch started. Around the 1:00 mark she starts impersonating female celebs on talk shows;

If you wanna get REALLY meta about it, all I can think is that Amy Schumer should have a late night show. She’s a great comedian so she would nail the monologue portion, and she’s even BETTER at interviewing people. The part of her show where she interviews random people on the street might be my favorite part of her…

Okay, I have some friends involved in this group. Here’s what I’ve been able to suss out from the flurry of Facebook posts:

So my parents bought their retirement home from a wealthy, childless gay couple. Y’all, this spot is wall-to-wall party showers. We’re talking minimum 25 square feet in the smallest one with 3 shower heads, and the master bedroom with, no fucking shit, 12 heads total and enough room to comfortably fit at least 10-15…

i can’t stop thinking about this tweet

In college, i lived in a 4-person room (it had two bunk beds) with two other people. So I slept on one of the top bunks but made the bottom one my fort. It was amazing. I would just hide in there and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer all the time.

I’ve worked on airplanes for almost 15 years now. I’ve worked at the airlines — believe me people — BELIEVE ME — do not let your kid lay on that floor. Just don’t. I wish I had a picture of opened floorboards and carpet on these jets. The sheer amount of human hair and unknown sticky substance is quite horrifying. The…

An Irish-Catholic family talking about major problems?

“I want to push your head down really hard while you give me head”

No dice. I would love a little blood sugar sext magik but my partner is a literal dude with an impaired romantic imagination. The few times I’ve tried, with innocuous but hopefully leading messages like “I wish you were in my bed right now,” I get matter of fact responses like “too bad we live so far apart.” :/

There's really no point in feeling guilty about nail salons, because pretty much our entire civilization and way of life is built on drastically reducing the quality of life of the people who do the dirty work/slave labor.

And without the use of the word cougar.

I got excited because I thought it was Florence & the machine’s Only If For a Night :/

I was on the other end of your experience. I was actually in a coven when that movie came out, and we all hung out at the local witchy store and I remember lots of vewy sewious discussions about the wrong impressions people would get about witchcraft. Our brows furrowed in anxiety and disapproval when wide-eyed young…

It should just be. Let it be.

FAF

I just want to clear a few things up as someone “in the know” about how airplanes and flight catering actually works.