My dad is a saaaaaaint. I love him. He is my favourite person in the world. He is also the source of 90% of my irritation in any given day but that’s parents for you. He has always been a world-class dad. I had terrible sleep problems when I was little so he used to come into my room and sleep on the floor until I…

My relationship with my father is beyond problematic and I haven’t been in contact with him for over 3 years. Reading all of you rave about your awesome dads makes me feel like shit (not your fault, obvs - I’m super happy that some of you have great dads). Anyone else who has cut contact with their father/main father…

Damn, ol’ Ric’s looking good! (He was my 7th and 8th grade Social Studies teacher.)

The latest from Nick Offerman was this Father’s Day-themed Lagavulin commercial he made with his dad, it’s so cute:

Never seen so many assholes show up on twitter so fast. If you are gonna go on Twitter be ready to get slapped by a SERIOUS wave of racism and xenophobia. Be ready, be strong, conserve your energy, pick your battles and then those who go way too far - fucking let them have it. 

The Strokes are my favorite band of all time (blame it on my age) and I also love the Yeah Yeah yeahs and I just... don’t see why that clarification from the author on who was coolest matters. It’s just, like, your opinion, man.

Heartbreaker is considered one of the best rock albums of the last 20 years. He is an incredibly prolific musician who at times headlines not one but three acts, who makes really good music. How about “Says the man whose most notable feats known to me are being married to and divorced from a revived Mandy Moore.”

Ok, but like, what is Gideon Yago up to these days because he was totally my MTV babe back in the day.

I honestly don’t think there’s a single thing that he says that can’t be contradicted by something he has tweeted in the past.

WOW, this was amazing. Your mom should write an oral history of NYC during this time!

A coffee maker that makes one shitty, expensive cup of coffee at a time...

Unbelievable what people will spend money on - they will pay for a machine to squeeze juice out of a bag. I buy fruit and squeeze it - saved $400! Actually I eat the fruit, unless I’m squeezing a lime of lemon in cooking or drinkies - because it’s better for you to eat the whole fruit.

Twitter wins:

When you realize Omarosa found someone who is OK with being married to her, but you haven’t made it past a first date in almost 3 years.

Omarosa’s dress is pretty.

I defy you, stars!

This is the boss chicken Link fights in The Legend of Zelda when Link attacks too many chickens.

You think Jezebel buys Lyft ads? You don’t know how advertising works.

That IPO is going to turn out to be the biggest investment fiasco of the decade.