Angel Haze

You must not come here often.

Yeah, but calling someone out on their wedding bullshit is, like, the best friend’s job, not the photographer who’s being paid probably a lot of money to be there.

I have complicated feelings about maxi dresses, so I was prepared to enjoy this rant, until I got to San Francisco listed as an awful thing. Record scratch, WHAT? San Francisco is like, one of the greatest cities in the world.

she was really good in Martha Marcy May Marlene tho

Sucks to be those of us in rentals with no dishwasher. Wasting our money, time, water, self-respect, etc.

SLEEVES. This was my endless quest. To the person who asked for sleeves, I also really wanted sleeves when I got married last year! You could try what I did out of desperation: Chop a sleeved dress in half (have a tailor put some elastic on the bottom) and stick it on top of a skirt you like! It was really cheap…

I would want all of my bridesmaids to be able to fit in one bathroom if my dress were to fall apart last minute or my groom ran off with a vixen. One bathroom = no more than 4 max.

Everything Janelle Monáe wears is so effortlessly super-cute, nay, perfect. I feel so much love.

omg u guyz i want this forever

Karen Elson looks pretty great. And she actually dressed for the theme. The people who don’t dress for the theme and who wear short and/or boring dresses infuriate me. If you’re at the Met Gala, you’re probably rich and hot. You have the opportunity to wear a crazy elaborate ballgown, something 99.9% of women will…

I challenge anyone to name a sitcom funnier than Broad City. Anyone who names a show that uses a laugh track like it’s still the 90’s *coughbigbangtheorycough* can get the fuck out.

OH MY GOD I HATE GOING TO ADULT PARTIES NOW BECAUSE THEY ALL SUCK. Like, I don't care that I’m 30, can we please play flip-cup and kings?

EXCUSE ME HAS NO ONE SEEN THE TRAILER FOR SAN ANDREAS???

I remind people who ask about this that fact constantly. The problem is the state’s antiquated water rights system that works against water efficiency in much of the agricultural sector. It’s aggravated by the fact that the Central Valley, where most farming takes place, is also where you find most of California’s…

Yes! millennials PLEASE move to LA. Then buy my house (walking distance to LACMA!) so I can move to the valley and bike to work. Cheers!~J.

Boss: Can you stay late and finish up that forecast file?
Me: I have to go home and write some letters.

Friend: Are you coming to my gender reveal party?
Me: I have to go home and write some letters.

Father: I’d like you to come to breakfast to meet my new girlfriend.
Me: I have to go home and write some letters.

YUP. It…

Notice how no one was ever selling “cock wash” for that horrible dick stench..

SING IT, SISTER