Sometimes I imagine that every time shade is misused, a drag queen forgets how to contour.

Where does Ashley Tisdale work regularly enough that she has her name painted into a parking spot?

Okay, my master’s thesis was on city planning and urban food deserts, so I have done extensive study on the impacts of limited access to fresh, healthy, affordable foods in low income communities, urban farms, food co-ops, the socioeconomic issues and impacts of poor diets in low income communities, the SNAP program,…

I haven’t done this in awhile, but now seems as good a time as ever to do the Lord’s work. A few of my all-time favorite Gwyneth quotes:

Dude, Gwyn, you’re on a budget, you don’t need so many god damn limes

Me too. Pouring one out.

I think we all know who should have sung at the wedding.

I got into it re white feminism with my mother over Easter, because what is a pagan festival without some sort of intergenerational sparring over some roast meats and too much wine- right?

My friend accosted him at a mall once to get a photo and he was apparently great and awkward and charming. This face is great, and I’m glad to know for certain he shops at The Gap.

Wow. Coming out against the Kardashians and the media — that’s a really bold artistic statement.

Funny. He’s indicted us, the audience, and media, but the Kardashians are the ones who get the brunt of his ire. There’s so much to be said about the cult of celebrity and how the Kardashians exemplify it, but the way they’ve become shorthand for “I’m too smart/elitist to partake in lowbrow entertainment” is such a…

This seems kind of mean. :\
I have no exposure to any of Plastic Jesus’s other stuff, but Banksy is usually a lot more political and interesting than this.

After planning a wedding, I did not want to plan an elaborate vacation. We booked a Caribbean cruise, where I could just roll on the boat and have a drink with an umbrella immediately placed in my hand.

My mom is a travel agent, so when my sister wanted to book a cruise for her honeymoon, she got our mom to book it so they could get the best deal possible during spring break (money was tight as my sister was going back to school).

EXCUSE ME. Jessica Walter voices Malory Archer on Archer. THAT IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING GOING ON.

Our honeymoon to Puerto Rico was fabulous other than a hurricane locking us in the room for a day (kind of romantic?) and delaying our flights home (trapping us in the airport).

My new husband and I were staying in one of the top rated hotels in the entire world in a location where you should be careful about drinking the water. We had this special romantic dinner the night before involving a private chef. It was hella dreamy. But in the middle of the night, I woke up with my belly rumbling.…