A Juggalo. I would elaborate but I don't really think that's necessary.

Can My Whole Weekend Is Ruined! be a series? Cause this shit is hilarious. Also, true.

Also, in all fairness to Target, I think one of those vibrating cartoon toothbrushes gave me my first orgasm.

Women are in this weird place where socially & economically we don't really neeeeed to get married, but it's still implied that we're defective if we don't get married. It's a tough place to be. Logically, I know I'd rather be my myself than be married to someone I wasn't bonkers about just for the sake of being…

Orange County can usually safely be blamed for every Unpleasant California Legislation event.

I like my comedy to be uncomfortable.

Can't wait for this queen's European adventures with Dr. Lecter.

Good thing his wang is what this movie's all about.

As a lawyer, for me the best thing to come out of Serial is getting rid of all the fucking damage shows like CSI have done for the common perception of the justice system. There is not semen on everything. There is not DNA in most cases. There is not some little piece of algae that proves a defendant had mojitos with…

I am really, really sorry about this... but I am pretty sure this is the exact dress she is wearing:

I don't know but I miss him every day. All the rest of y'all better never leave, okay?

I got my first chin hair when I was 26. I'm 31 now, and while it's still my only chin hair, I won't deny that it makes me happy to have something to stroke while I ponder life's great mysteries over a glass of white wine with the cats.

I'm sorry, Fred, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome Carrie is.

I don't care what people say, this is adorable news and they are both totes adorbs and even though I don't have kids nor am I pregnant I would buy the baby clothes and put them on my American Girl dolls. There. I said it.

yes, I know the difference medically, y'all, but language is flexible, and we have colloquially adopted vagina as a reference to the entire kit and caboodle (kitten caboodle? I never remember which one is right), much like how when I say penis, I generally mean "balls included" to refer to the whole entire unit. But…

YMMV obviously, but I've heard anecdotally that young women who tick the expected boxes (educated, physically and mentally healthy, autonomous, conventionally attractive, thin, etc etc) who are interested in earning money, security and validation this way can potentially earn more as high class call girl types with a…

Run tell that

But every man is someone's bangable son.

Wow, the thirst is fucking real. That guy? THAT GUY? With those whack ass gums?

I think she deleted it so that she could ignore my tweets about how ill-fitting her dress is. I WANT GOOD THINGS FOR YOU, LENA, UNLIKE YOUR STYLIST!