I once severed my tongue (did you know they could reattach those?) in a library, on the first day after their renovations (I ended up volunteering there 15 years later, it was apparently legend.) I tripped and bit it clear off.

Bloody nose and lip pulling up my own bra strap. My hand slipped and I punched myself.

One night as a senior in high school I was high as a kite with a group of attractive men. As the night wore on I started making out with one of them and almost immediately started to have trouble breathing.

I was maybe 12 or 13 and had just gotten into wearing heels. I loved how they made me feel. I would wear heels anywhere and everywhere, and not kitten heels but 5+ inches. So one time I wore them to the park with my friends, and I wasn't to just sit around, I loved to run around and play with everything at the park.…

This isn't my story, this is my best friends story. My best friend was living in Japan at the time, and her old roommate came out to visit her. My friend and her roommate went out with some friends one night and got REALLY DRUNK.

Not me, but at my corporate software office, we would sometimes have tea breaks, where a few of us would gather at the break table, make a nice pot of an interesting loose-leaf tea, and relax for a few. Anyway, one of the mates brought in a fancy iron teapot, and for some reason, they decided to do a manly contest to…

It sounds like the interviewer asked him about her and he gave an incredibly noncommittal, albeit gracious, response. He's hardly flying a big TEAM IGGY flag.

VERY SELF IMPORTANT. I had to do hospitality shit for his stupid band one time and he was kind of a shit to me and my co-worker. I just kinda ignored him but he was kinda snippy to my co-worker and she called him on it and he was all like... mockingly apologetic to her and then decided to turn on the charm and be…

was obsessed with this pic in high school

His tattoos looks like the sticker collection kids put on their parents fridge. All he needs is some magnetic alphabet letters and a "Chiquita" sticker.

Nope. This is how you do underwear ads:

I had a coworker who chronically overshared her marital woes with me. And so I learned about "the incident."
Her husband had trouble in the erection department and for health reasons couldn't take the usual meds. So they went with a strap on, which she found to be too cold and so decided to microwave it - for FIVE…

Quick story that, I guess, shows why I love having kids at weddings and why it's probably a bad idea. A fraternity brother's wedding where it was very heavy on your readings and vows and in the middle of it all this kid, who at most was five years old, says very loudly "THIS IS SO FREAKING BORING" and then gets…

I know this is a very touchy subject for a lot of people, but to me, a wedding is a blending of two families. If there are kids who are part of your family, they should be invited. We had kids at our wedding for this reason. And you know what? They were awesome! My godson (who was 7 at the time and also our…

Stemless wine glass for the fine china

I've been nothing if not professional every time I've given notice at a job. I'm terrified of burning bridges.