But this way, you click on like three extra articles every day trying to find out which is the dirt bag driving up traffic and clicks. Why would they label it?

One time my friend sent me a text that said, "Guess who's pregnant and keeping it?" That is the only acceptable way to announce a pregnancy.

IMMEDIATELY! The more wine, the better. Seriously, this film (and the soundtrack) were everything to me as a young teenager.

She is my everything...I've seen this fucking movie a million and three times

When I was first dating a guy a while back, he finished in my mouth after I specifically requested he didn't. "Oh, it was just so good. I couldn't help myself!" he said. Meanwhile, he came so much. . . and it tasted so bad that I was left with blow job PTSD for the duration of our relationship.

How does one get into a marriage without knowing that one's SO is averse to a relatively common sex act. If this was a new development after years of getting great head, I could see the issue. But if you married her knowing that she doesn't give head you knew what you were getting into.

"reward her with praise"

On any given weekend 500,000 French people are protesting about something. This is just the turn for the assholes.

Wait, everyone tells me Europe is so much more cultured and tolerant than the US.

• Ryan Murphy and his husband had a baby boy! If the kid's anything like the other things Murphy creates, he will start off strong and be all over the place by year three.

I can tell you there's a lot of trans women watching these developments with an avid interest. Between this and 3D printed organs (seriously, it's a thing) the future of medicine in general but also of trans folks' ability to transition is really looking amazing.

I got a song. Fiona Apple did the theme song for the upcoming Showtime series The Affair. The song is called "The Container" and it's a minute of greatness.

Bookmarking this for fellow half-Indian makeup inspiration. #biracialsunite

I look forward to next week's column, whatever the subject, to see if you can work that ex and wedding into a third post.

STARK WHITE MANI/PEDI A+ <3. Perfect "accessory" for this minimalist look.

Not a thing I did, but a thing that was done in pursuit of getting in my pants. Also not super crazy, just completely ridiculous.

I once played rugby with giant men to impress a guy in college who said he thought it was hot when girls were "tiny but tough." Promptly dislocated my right shoulder and broke my left collarbone, and a rib. Insisted I was fine, even though I couldn't move. Drank a lot, so I could claim the passing out was from the…

The year after I graduated college, I was working in an office to bide my time while trying to figure out what to do with my life. I finally decided I was going to go abroad for a year-long graduate program. In the meantime, one of my coworkers had this Au pair from Denmark who worked for her kids. This guy was hot -…

literally every mormon i know

I once had a torrid, three-year relationship with a guy that was seriously hotter than Brad Pitt at peak Legends of the Fall. I am not kidding. The sex was frequent, lengthy, and phenomenal.