I remember one time some friends were telling me i swear to much, even denying my righteous indignation that i don't. I got frustrated with the whole ordeal i yelled out " I DO NOT FUCKING SWEAR!" without realizing the irony of what i had just done. It became a running joke among the group.

Here's a bonus tale of billboard vandalism. I've told this story before on Kitchenette but this time I have a picture, which is worth a thousand words.

OKC message of the week:

I've been rewatching Freaks & Geeks on FX (I think it's on both weekend mornings every week), and just falling in love with it all over again. The two characters I most relate to could not be more different from one another — Bill and Kim. I highly favor Bill though.

Scully,Lisa and Daria were definitely my role models as a kid for "it's totally okay to be a bit of a loner and stand up for yourself and your beliefs."

TV seriously needs more Scullys, the antidote to the "strong female character"

I have a Shailene Woodley story!

I've known quite a few young and middle-aged women like Woodley here in Northern California over the past 25 years. As long as she doesn't harm anyone then I have no criticism of her.

Welcome back to the face that launched a thousand gifs!

One of his dealbreakers is wearing a fedora...but that could be because he's the only one alllowed?

Don't count Magnolia out because of Tom Cruise. Count it in because of Tom Cruise. His performance is absolutely devastating; it will bring you to tears. Also, the rest of the cast includes William H. Macy, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman, John C. Reilly, Philip Baker Hall, Jason Robards, Alfred Molina, Melora…

I think Christian Grey is better with even more hair.

Dornan with beard is way hotter than without (almost everyone is) but, that said, clean-cut, boring dude in suit TOTALLY looks more like the guy who will jizz his mommy issues all over you and talk nonstop about his fucking contract.

When my 16 year old son went to the doctor this year they offered the HPV vaccine. I didn't know they were giving it to boys as well as girls.

Nicki, leave your ass out or put it away, I'll start paying attention again when you can do something else as perfect as your verse in "Monster." Or, I guess I'll settle for another "Super Bass." That "Anaconda" song is terrible!

"...Kathie Lee and Hodor." I just spit my coffee all over my desk..thanks

"Kathie Lee and Hodor"

Yes, if it was Mystery Science Theatre 3000 style, but also a drinking game, like they instructed you to drink every time Ms. Steele says something self-deprecating.

Pros: pretty, accentuate your ass, useful guide to how drunk you are.