My two favorite humans are Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson.

There are so many gems in the Clooney reunion piece. This one from his aunt is really cute:

I'm just happy to see that some middle schoolers are interested in actual music, not Beiber auto-tune bullshit.

I was about to "yeah, whatever" about his hotness...but damn if that isn't a good-looking man. Too bad about the felon and face tattoo aspect of it. Kinda ruins the effect.

OH I'M SORRY, DOES BEING THE CHOSEN ONE NOT ENTITLE YOU TO SUPERIORITY? COMPLEX, MY ASS.

Why do SMG's tweets always seem to be about how someone else is dumber or more gauche or just generally lesser than she? I'm beginning to understand how she related to Buffy's superiority complex.

I have gone from loving Gaga to being absolutely repelled by her. The incident with the woman vomiting on her and now this Terry Richardson/R. Kelly disaster? Please, go sit down, Gaga. If this is the best you can do, it's over.

You guys are def the cutest/weirdest ship at Gawker media.

I would hire someone with a beehive hairdo no matter what the open position was.

is there a Jason Momoa/Lisa Bonet sex tape floating around somewhere? asking for a friend

I know my audience

My preferred "cure" for cellulite is to not wear short shorts.

Actual verbatim gchat conversation that happened at 3:30 AM EST:

I just need everyone to know that I found these at 3am while trying to fall asleep and immediately sent them to Colin because we are bros and also these fucking cookies need to be seen!!

Unless you're living your entire life in a series of house flips or building a log cabin for your family by hand, home maintenance is occasional and sporadic and would never in a million years add up to the hours disparity banked in housework.

As a woman who was chubby her whole life until she discovered weight training, I constantly feel like I want to run through the local globogyms and just scream, "You're doing it WRONG! I know the way! Follow meeeee!" Of course I would not, because I know how much people hate being given advice about fitness (I'm a…

Well, if you walk at a pace of 20 minutes/mile (a "3" on most treadmills), and you're of average weight, then you're burning about 750 calories in that 3 hours. Also, your BMR is around 1400 cal/day, so you've burned about 200 calories just by existing during that time.

You guys I would totally be behind this is she learned to play the ukulele and sang twee songs about Kanye. WHAT IF SHE DID A DUET WITH ZOE DESCHANEL?!?!?!

I just wish Kanye didn't go crazy so people can remember just how good College Dropout is.