I'm hoping this "alternate ending" involves a lot more Patrice.

I did a fair amount of oat-sowing my freshman year of college. The school wasn't known for its diversity, and I was one of the few black girls on campus. Since I stuck out like a sore thumb, most of my hookups were followed by a fair deal of boasting and gossip. Depending on your gender, I was commonly referred to as…

I'm on a month-long camping trip with a bunch of other college students. There's this guy I like, and he likes me. We sit together every day, tell each other secrets, it's cute as hell. There's a girl on the trip who doesn't really have friends yet, so one day I invite her to sit between me and this guy. The three…

How can you not mention "The Tourist"? The worst crappiest piece of crap ever to have crapped???

Evidence.

Me: reading with mild interest and humor, because obviously i know all this shit already but hey you're putting in your own voice which is nice.

I don't think her Disney roots have much to do with the cultural appropriation critique. See NinjaCate/battymamzelle's piece posted on Jezebel for a brilliant, succinct take on the Miley minstrel show at the VMAs. If anything, the association with Disney is more grist for the mill, what with their history of racism,…

It's raining on my face. All the stars for honey graham crackers! Where's some peanut butter to put on those?

I often feel that way, but then I catch Benny and Joon on TV and swear my allegiance all over again.

I think the award should be for some good goddamn eyebrows.

Every time I get a bit sad about living in Canada, I remember that Newfies exist and I feel much better about life.

This is my favorite one ever. Baskets, FFS!!!

i would fuck her gently .

Basic Bitches:

Good news, I've just realized I'm old enough now where this doesn't seem free spirited or delightful. It just seems stupid. Put some goddamn shoes on, there are glass and germs and rubble in the damn street, and you'll catch your death of cold, young whippersnapper.

I was actually okay with everything up until the "Ted's going after Robin again" ending. I thought the moment when he met the mother was genuinely really moving—it fit the tone the show has established over the years, it had some nice call-backs, and both actors knocked it out of the part. Hooray. I'm even willing…

Agent Dale Cooper is okay with this:

I SAW THIS IN PERSON. And oh my god, I cried. It was so honest and so wonderful. Wil's whole "don't be a dick" policy is great and I wish more people followed it.

We gave plants as our favors. (We got them very cheap.) People still tell me how they're thriving!