In light of the cat article I think it's ok to say this: my cat's name is Thomas (he is Latino so say it like Toe-mas). Now, every time I read the name "Thomas" I pronounce it like my cat's name. It is very distracting and then I imagine my cat as the person I'm reading about. Thomas is brilliant, but he does not have…

Alright, Jezebel, I'm developing a theory. First, you pick cheesecake. Then, you pick Corgi. Then, you pick Missionary. Grunge is an outlier, and probably only because it wasn't the 50s versus the 60s (do you even know what grunge is?).

I always wrote Dawson's Creek off as nonsense and JVDB as a random over emotive floppy haired 90s dude, but seriously he grew up to be fantastic. He was so on point playing himself in Don't Trust the B it was ridiculous.

Not enough dicks on the dance floor

I'm maid of honour for my best lady's wedding this summer. We did a bachelorette party for her recently...instead of going the penis-shaped-everything route, we did a throwback evening to when we used to go wilding at age 19-20. This included:
-homemade burgers for dinner, because you can't party on an empty stomach
-se…

YOU GUYS STEEL MAGNOLIAS IS ON NETFLIX AND I'VE GOT A FRESH BOX OF TISSUES.

He is super handsome and he lays on my back and meows at me when I'm sad.

Every single restaurant I have ever worked at or heard of involves a tip out from the waiter to the bartender based on sales % — meaning, if you don't tip the waiter for drinks, the waiter gets fucked but the bartender STILL gets their money. Anyone who doesn't tip for booze — or who goes and gets drinks from the…

I <3 Miguel. Enjoy this song as well. Pure sex.

She looks incredible. I know she gets tons of hate, especially by some Jezzies, but I like her. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is something about her I really appreciate. She definitely rocks this cover. They're kinda perfect for eachother, right?! That babes is ridiculously cute... This has nothing to…

Imma let you finish, but Vicodin is the best easy-to-obtain-for-back-problems opiate of all time. OF ALL time. (I would not recommend, however, that you take it when you go on on-line dates.) (Even if your disc is hella herniated.)

Liam Neeson for Poseidon/King Triton, because: reasons.*

Oh sweet youth. I've read Jezebel for a few years now, waiting for my moment.

A couple years ago my now-husband and I got wasted at home for St. Patricks and all seemed well. The next day my husband told me that I had been running around the house naked in beads and heels and I asked him for proof. He texted me a photo he took.. to my recently old number. That my dad was then using. I've been…

After drinking for several hours at the Irish Bank in San Francisco, my sister and I had to meet our mom in Union Square because she wanted to take us shopping. I took my sister there via piggyback, and then proceeded to fall backwards over the couch in the Banana Republic shoe section and onto the floor. My sister…

I was at a bar with my ex girlfriend getting sloshed and I forget how it came up, but we decided to trade shirts in the middle of the bar. Her shirt was this v-neck that was much too small, my gut fully hanging out, and my polo shirt fit her like a shirt she was about to sleep in. She met up with her boyfriend and I…

I watched Blackfish and then about a week later I got Rust and Bone from Netflix, which I will not spoil for you, but I will say I'm glad I saw Blackfish first, and I highly recommend both.

Honestly, unless it's an older hotter Peter Pan, I just have no interest in seeing any more reimaginings. The last live action movie was excellent and I doubt it can be trumped.

Also:

i LOVE this. i'm heavily tattooed AND a soccer mom. living in the socially conservative land of middle tennessee, i am already bracing myself for the looks that i'll be sure to get from the other parents on the sidelines this spring, but luckily my daughter and her friends' Christian, conservative parents know my…