idk man you just know when that juice is just a liiiittle too hot

Nanny reads this article like

I’m a family law attorney, and my office has been up in arms about this all week.

She has much larger abominations to still answer for than the Middle East situation anyways:

prolly because her dresses are so boring

“in my mind” I didn’t rape anybody is a real Cosby-level excuse

Cherkis points out, too, that Fowley always denied sexually abusing The Runaways, quoted in a 2013 band biography as saying, “They can talk about it until the cows come home but, in my mind, I didn’t make love to anybody in the Runaways nor did they make love to me.” And that may be right, in that “love” is no one’s…

You know, if I had the capacity to understand this comment I think I might be offended.

also, i really want a donut.

That’s not neccesarily accurate Polish. Ten minutes or so in the sun and I’m quite positive that thing would melt like Belloc’s face when he unwisely stared at the ark of the covenant.

That part I can almost parse out! Like, “I hate America’s unhealthy attitudes towards food which causes us to have ridiculously oversized portions of things that are unhealthy for us, JFC that cinnamon roll is the size of my ponytail-weave”, but I still want to give her a time out and take away her juice boxes.

THESE COLORS DONT RUN, ARIANA

I scrolled past this article on Facebook and then scrolled right the fuck back up, because gotdamn.

These people are now wasting taxpayer money in two ways: 1) refusing to perform their jobs, which are publicly funded, and 2) necessitating additional lawsuits over an issue that has now been litigated to exhaustion.

Huh, you don’t usually see KY preventing gay couples from coming together.

That legit happened to me once. Went to a friend of a friends to buy some weed because I had a shitty week and my regular dude was at some camp or something, he went to his room to grab it and when he came back he was just wearing a pair of white tube socks. No joke, he pointed to his gentleman sausage and winked at…

“I'm Backtatman"

I will unconditionally believe every single word about this man. If someone writes in to say he has a fetish for German circus clowns, I will believe it. If another person writes in to say that Trump makes his employees watch Beetlejuice once a year for motivational purposes, I will believe it. If someone details the…

I’m sorry the ‘80s, they weren’t fun for everybody, clearly.

Somehow Jezebel can’t just appreciate the fact that Ani’s a better investigator compared to the other two. Instead the issue is the C Word and how the Mayor of Vinci (who we all know is a piece of shit) used it in a way to exemplify why yes, viewers should hate him. But cherry picking a word when clearly Ani can take…