My mom was a 7th grade core teacher at our junior high. I denied us being related to avoid stress but my sister never did. A kid came up to my sister and said, "Do you mind if I kill your mom?" My sister turns to this kid without missing a beat, "Do you mind if I kick your balls to Kentucky?"

If you live in the East Bay, you can go to Berkeley Bowl or Farmer Joe’s.

Hawaii was on TMC last night. There’s a whole thing about meseals and how the native Hawaiians weren’t able to fight off the virus. Many died because they were exposed to a childhood illness. It’s based on history. We never learn.

I’ve been to Doña Tomas before. It’s really expensive Mexican food for white people. There are literally hundreds of more authentic and tastier places all over Oakland. Its just too urban for them.

I think the most surprising thing about this that she mentions church twice.

Leo’s new girl is okay looking. I’m sure her body to die for. She’s no RiRi though.

I say “chip uh top lay” sometimes because of that Jack in the Crack commercial. I almost named my dog “chip uh top lay”. One of my former kindergarten parents actually wrote that commercial, and I nearly nerded out on the dude.

Beegee means vagina in my Noni’s Italian dialect.

I’ll become a vegan when you pry the Midnight Moon gouda from my cold, dead hands.

I loved so much. Someone was yelling for a sequel in the movie theater. People were crying from laughter. Me included. Also 50, that’s enough man meat for me. And Miranda! I can’t wait until America falls in love her. I mean Call the Midwife is great but she’s so much more.

Go Oakland! This is town business!

That’s how I feel when people say “and wahla”. The word is voilà people. With a ‘v’, not a ‘w’. I seriously want to punch people in the throat who say wahla.

I love a note from the heart. Honestly. Some of the nicer monetary value gifts I have received were gift cards (Trader Joes or Target are always nice), gift certificates for nice restaurants, a bottle of champagne. There’s a wine and cheese place in the neighborhood I work in that I got a gift certificate for, which…

I’m a kindergarten teacher in a well heeled Metropolitan area. I can tell you that my parents pamper the hell out of me. I get gifts at the holidays, my birthday, Valentines, teacher appreciation week, and the end the year. Not everyone so lucky.

My first male cousins ran around naked all the time as kids . I can honestly say, I’ve never thought of them sexually. It really disturbs me that people think that it’s normal.

Thanks a lot. I had no idea what CDAN was before this evening and have just spent the last hour in a CDAN hole.

I was just going to say that. Right to work, the most laughable name for union busting ever, probably created this.

I read that the customer put the straw in her face. As a kindergarten teacher who literally has things pushed in my face on a daily basis, I can assure you that it feels deeply disrespectful and you want to lose your grip.

I met John Waters in January and he was lovely.