Mr. Rogers was the best of us.

Also there’s considerably less Mormon nonsense.

He was married for 51 years and had two children. Mr. Rogers wouldn’t have lied to them. He’d have explained and told them that everyone is special in their own way.

Kill the witch, throw the baby king off the cliff, and hang the creepy old men. It’s the way of the murderhobo.

As a Canadian I apologize for this woman, but like Beiber, Brian Adams, and Shania Twain: America, you touched her last. She’s yours now.

This would itself be a reason to do so, no?

My adult, tax paying self would be happy to throw 90% of the military and its equipment out of a plane.

That’s the thing: Elliot Ness was unusual because unlike his peers, he couldn’t be bribed.

I’m sorry your train was cancelled.

But you are beautiful.

More likely you would have rolled your car and killed her.

You can see from the footage that there is zero chance of avoiding a collision.

Someone loitering in the middle of a highway wearing dark clothing?

There’s no way a human driver could have avoided this.

She was loitering, in dark clothing, in the middle of the road. You can’t reasonably call this anything short of suicide by car.

Good

He was dying of infection, not bleeding out.

I think they got it backwards. Top 40 et al is made for boys aged 13-16 and girls aged 11-14. You wouldn’t care about Alanis or Tupac if they came out now, because let’s be honest, they’re kind of shit. You only like them for nostalgia.

I honestly don’t know where to put “coerced someone into letting me lick their feet.”