I had to re-read this about 2-3 times, and I’m still not 100% sure what the hell you’re talking about.

Prank gone wrong gone sexual gone racial gone shooty hoops

Curt Schilling could explain this in half the time:

I mean, I’m not naive, I just expected it to be a bit less “in-your-face” than it was.

Can we talk about the Michael Bay-esque product placement in this movie?

Touchback prank... GONE SEXUAL!!!

This probably isn’t your intention at all, but I’m going ahead and interpreting that you just called UIC a “community college”, which makes me happy - because fuck ‘em and their lazy river...

Personally, I would love to watch a live stream of Goose Gossage’s head exploding as someone explained to him what GoFundMe is.

Adam LaRoche, in the best shape of his life, uses son to break windshield

Bad player retires from bad team over dumb reason

I think Colin Mochrie technically can run for President of the United States as long as he only uses Ryan Stiles’ arms during his campaign.

Redbreast is the tits

I don’t either, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if the Pats somehow figured out a way to turn him into a All-Pro, because that’s the universe’s way of punishing us for not letting go of 1985 all-fucking-ready...

We kill gays The Cardinal Way around here. There’s no time for show boating while you’re beating a pinko to death - that’ll get you a 4 seam fastball up and into your face.

WRONG! The correct way to fill out a bracket is to use the tried and true “which mascot would win in a fight” method.

+1 “Follow me to the Springfield Aquarium” bumpersticker