The “I cant hear you, i’m sorry” fucking killed me. This woman can play on my softball team any day of the week.
Except Tuesdays and Thursdays as we dont play on those days.

I still prefer “barbershop ass corn cob pipe lookin ass motherfucker”.

And to prove that he is indeed the truth, he just got “WRESTLING IS FAKE AND FUCKING GARBAGE YOU HILLBILLIES” tattooed across his pectorals.

The Las Vegas thing is a joke. The NHL is going to put another terrible team in a terrible location?

As a Coyotes fan from the beginning... it’s time to kill it. They’re done. These past few (more than a few now I guess) years have been frustrating and annoying, even when they were good, and they just need to stop wasting everyone’s time and get rid of the franchise. A team that’s constantly on life support for years…

Do it!! Kill it!! SET IT AFLAME!!!

Yeah, give it to the guys who paid the bribes and then got double-crossed!

VOGUE!

A League of They’re Owned

Recently went to Progressive Field in Cleveland for the Toronto/Cleveland series. As a low-life degenerate of the finest form, I was highly impressed with the selection of possum piss being offered up by the good folks at the Reservation. You had your run of the mill micro-brew stands that were charging $9 for a cup…

COORS. The Banquet Beer. And not that horrid light abomination. The real thing in the yellow and gold can. Best lawnmower beer ever.

Right when I turned 21 I would get a 24 pack of Hamm’s for 13.99. My broke friends would come over, ask for a beer, I’d point them to my fully stocked mini fridge, and they would open it and go “oh. never mind.” Damn straight, “never mind.” Get your own beer then. I have no problem with Hamm’s. There’s a good hipster…

I just bought one of those pink drivers, you know the ones that Bubba uses, love it.

I think an important addendum to Drew’s very good hat advice should be that it’s all moot if you figure out a way to turn yourself into an older English gentleman.

Doesn’t the “tot” in Tater Tot denote that they are meant for babies and kids under 5?

Tater tots are like the Tom Ley of the French fry world. Everyone knows they have no business being there, but somehow - there they are. It's like they know someone in the frozen food aisle that keeps putting them on the shelf.

“Lazarus said he has conveyed his shave requests to NHL officials; the NHL Players Association; and even players in individual discussions.”

Growing a beard for the NHL playoffs is as hallowed and time-honoured a tradition as beating your wife or ladyfriend half to death is to the NFL.

“And it would be great if the puck could glow, or something, so that everyone could see where it is! And maybe we could have a giant NBC hockey robot that could teach kids about hockey terms!

What? Yes, I did work for Fox before NBC, how did you know?”