uhhhhh...no, you put it in a pipe and light it, dumbshit

Like many a Houston Astro, throwing a baseball is his kryptonite.

"So, uh, is there a Grandpa, Grandma?"

Alright then, I was wrong. He still cant work a shirt.

Thanks for not giving us the full story, St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Now I'll never know what racial slur that guy called Curt Ford.

Hey Captain! Open up! We've got to install these microwave ovens!

If he has superior android strength, why couldn't Data just have broken down the door?

You never hear much about his older and bankrupt brother Lien Smith, coach over there at I.O.U.

This is the most horrifying ISIS video yet.

A simple rational post about policing and your thoughts on it, with no real judgement what-so-ever? A good story that makes you empathize with both sides and come away a better person?!

Great, now I have to Google her boobs.

Either way you look at it, he appears to be happy.

Coughlin did give Siri a little credit, noting it was the longest drive he had orchestrated in at least a year.

"Siri, the pot roast is goddam burnt, and the succotash tastes like wet socks. I don't know why they let women live in phones anyhow!"

-Tom Coughlin, kitchen table in the dark.

And then they'd get kicked off the team for accepting "gifts". Because the NCAA is run by idiots.

How would you know? The sheer force generated by such an impact would render your skull into a pulverized molecular mist. Ergo, no way you would even concieve the difference between a picosecond and a nanosecond as you would be dead.

Ravens win the Alternate Universe Super Bowl! Good luck with picking up the trophy. Wormholes are a bitch.

Baltimore took this more seriously than domestic violence