That's Spike's 'I've tweeted out the the wrong Zimmerman address' look. Par for the course.

What the hell are you doing in Kosovo? Are you being detained?

Colonel: Tim. Your entire team was killed, and it was all your fault. You were nowhere to be seen. Satellite Recon shows you lying in a hammock, reading Good Housekeeping during the firefight.

Will, you're a nice guy so I'm going to play it straight.
Sure, we Canadians are blessed with many things: Merciless winters, frost-bitten penises, and living in a country that shares real estate with Quebec. That said, when Quebec isn't chained up in our cellar eating table scraps, occasionally it finds the time to…

yu no i cannt reed you ashhole!

This man is clearly not Wilt Chamberlain.

outstanding.

Rowland is also one hell of a defender, blocking shots at will. In fact I read somewhere that he led Turkey in stuffing.

Bold move. Usually you don't tell anyone what your favourite Vin Diesel movie is.

How is this even still a question? Yes! He prefers the company of a large, throbbing penis over that of a gross vagina. Can we fucking move on?

All things considered, I'd say Gary Shandling is in really good shape!

In Ontario, if you call someone anything other than buddy, you'll get a clapper right in the chiclets.

You can celebrate both christmas AND Kwanzaa, Ebenezer.

This is clearly written from the perspective of someone whose family was systematically smothered to death on christmas eve, by a gang of christmas sweater-laden marauders. This can be the ONLY explanation for an article so steeped in Grinch.

While not having received any recruiting letters himself, the eldest brother What'a still managed to send the family's life-savings to a lovely Prince in Nigeria.

1. O Holy Night - By whomever, it doesnt fucking matter.
2. Mary's Boy Child - Boney M

Montreal ExpoRays has a nice ring to it.

"Horny juice. Nicole liked to call me that from time to time. When she wasn't being murdered."

I wouldn't say that this is the worst season. I mean, who can forget that year where umm........and there was...grapes??...or...

-Every NFL player.

Sage advice to heed, THOMAS.