Not to mention, if Rihanna was my daughter and brought Leo home it'd be so hard for me to not be like, "Girl, he is a bloated middle aged model-chasing walking mid-life crisis. You can do better..."

I think Anastasia from Fifty Shades of Grey needs to listen to "You Don't Own Me."

Her breathing sounds awkward. They need like super-sad music in the background to make this more effective.

I dated my husband for a month before we moved in together. We've been together twelve years now, this summer is our 5-year wedding anniversary, and we have the cutest damn five month old baby you've ever seen.

I just saw at Walgreens yesterday that there are some new colors. I nearly bought them and then remembered I am a poor teacher going to grad school and didn't. There is a better than average chance I will get one this weekend though.

I only own all the colors!!! It makes my lips soft and it's not sticky and it gives just the right amount of color. I'm not a lipstick fan so basically they are perfect.

Yeah, I'm a bit of a beauty box addict. I have Birchbox, Glossybox (my favorite), Boxycharm, and Ipsy. Birchbox does have a great points system! I have $50 worth that I need to use. I really want PopSugar MustHave, but it's so expensive. My wife said I could have it if I got rid of two other box subscriptions, so…

I really love Teadora Nourishing Lip Butter. It gently exfoliates and moisturizes at the same time. They have Rainforest at Dusk (chocolate scented) and Rainforest at Dawn (orange scented) and, I have to say, the Dawn is way better. It's all natural, it smells really good, and feels great on my lips. I think it's…

How about a weekly lip scrub? My mom taught me to combine coconut oil and salt (or sugar) and lightly scrub my lips. I also scrub my mouth with a cotton washcloth whenever Im in the shower, that way when I'm ready to apply my lipstick any extra skin has been sloughed off.

Marcel has not aged well.

Too bad the dinosaurs we have IRL can't be bothered to ponder such logic.

Oh well, I guess teens will find other ways to have abortions that will be totes safe and what not. Not like anything bad could happen from removing a fetus yourself right? Here's some food for thought.

OMG, that pantsuit. No words... Should have sent... a poet...

I wondered which male Teen Mom star could possibly want his face on a condom. Yeah, Gary's face would keep me from getting pregnant, mostly because a dick covered in that would get nowhere near my vagina.

CLOVER PLEASE. Tonight's performance was a HOT MESS! She was OFF KEY and it was just an insult to true gospel singers. What? No, gospel singers in the house tonight?

I got pregnant after the first time my boyfriend and I had sex. We went on a few dates before I found out and I was lukewarm on the situation.

TV characters have fewer abortion rights than anyone else in America. They can try to get an abortion but it will never actually happen.

See this won't work for me because after I read "Fahrenheit 451" in high school I am still worried 15 years latter that Ray Bradbery was right and it is my duty to protect books.

It gives me joy

Since we've had a kid, we're also starting to run into the "But we want Mini Minkoff to read this someday."