This is the worst take

Somebody asked me the other day, “Why is John Stewart going out of his way to speak for them?”

None of these would be in any way significant if the athletes didn’t have vaginas.

What school did you take Team Sports 101 in?

It wasn’t ‘a goal to go up 9-0', it was ‘OMG I SCORED A GOAL IN THE WORLD CUP!’ Maybe if you had done something remarkable at any point in your life, you’d understand.

Who was being a dick? Individuals in a team sport celebrating their successes is a dick move now?

Is there a point to any of these words, or are you just celebrating your ability to talk?

Who was crass or cruel? They took time out of their celebrations to console and encourage their opponents. Have you ever done that?

You can’t tell a rookie who just scored her first goal in the fucking World Cup to tone it down just because somebody else might have scored before her. She did a thing, and she deserves her moment. They all do.

Gentle criticism?

Another day, another bad-faith Republican controversy.

She’s Kevin Hart insufferable, which is actually pretty funny in controlled dosages.

“Thanks for ruining my birthday. And thanks for ruining my life. I used to see in color, and now everything is gray!”

I once stopped having sex with a woman, took of the condom, got dressed and walked home in the rain because she read and started replying to a text. Didn’t even tell her why. I don’t compete for attention.

Cool, send me 5 bucks so I can sign up!

Yeah, sure, just sign up for ANOTHER FUCKING STREAMING SERVICE for 5 dollars a month so I can watch ONE RACE! Will do!

Holy shit.

Oh, so Labatt’s is like duty-free beer?

Fuck that. They INVENTED basketball, their ring is worth double!

Remember when Kevin Love and Kyrie were injured?