The WETA Workshop is making sure their Lou Pearlman convincingly secretes neurotoxins from his mugwump stamen before sucking out the youth and beauty of his child victims, just like the real Lou Pearlman.

Mike Pence: "See it's like Law School Days but I spell 'days' D-A-Z-E. Like we're all in a daze."

While Pence wasted his time with "sequential art" Joe Biden was in a race against the clock to get 400 cases of Coors from Texarkana, Texas back to Atlanta in just 28 hours.

Bill Dozier made it work with just Adam West, Frank Gorshin and five t-shirts with the word "henchman" ironed on the front.

**Clears throat, puts on nerd glasses.

Season 1 is a mess, though it might still be worth your time. All the primary actors are good (and Toby Huss, as ever, is the best part of anything he's in) they were just trapped in a clusterfuck of a "Don Draper meets Steve Jobs" premise. It could make an interesting study in How Not to Write a TV Show.

"Now That's What I Call Entry-Level Music!"

I can't believe I napalmed all those kids to "When the Pawn…"

Fake American Sniper Baby is starting Fake American Baby Pre-K this fall. You should see her now. It's like she hasn't aged a day.

"Sweetie, it's your emotional wellbeing vs. a game show I can watch on my own time in like 7 different formats. So fuck you and fuck the arrowhead you found in a creek bed."

Max Landis then added, "Books are knowledge and knowledge is power, and I am… no. Um, no. What am I? What was I saying? The bittersweet pain among men is having knowledge with no power because… because that is *paradoxical* and, um… thank you for coming."

For Batman, this was the only prerequisite for joining the League.

And that, is where shitty babies come from.

"Dear Jared Leto,

Also troubling: In their list of characters, by order of importance, Janine was sandwiched between Slimer and the car.

Bones.

is meant to evoke images of the Pacific theater of World War II

Nicki Minaj in a Ghostbuster suit made out of the butts of two Ghostbusters suits rapping about how all ghosts want to bust her or GTFO.

Ben Affleck may have dropped by Cocaine's talk show before he did Bill Simmons.

"It belongs in a museum!"