“Ha! I kill me!” - ALF

True jizz died with Coltrane in 1967, the kind of jizz-wailing that could get you pregnant.

And, finally, when there’s nothing left, when you can’t borrow another idea from the Original Trilogy or buy another case of blue milk, you bust the joint out. You light a match.

“Why...this is no Ollie Hopnoodle’s Haven of Bliss!” - some weirdo, probably.

“Ponderous man! Fucking ponderous.”

Everyone is sick of reading about Olivia Wilde. Everyone’s mother and everyone’s brother-in-law is sick of reading about Olivia Wilde. Ever since —and even before—it seems like not a day has gone by where we’ve been granted one moment’s peace from reading about Olivia Wilde.

It’s the story of a 62 year old man with an incredible skincare routine who’s looked 37 for the past 25 years and his son who looks around the same age.

“If I played a radical Islamic pedophile terrorist in a movie, I’d get nominated for an Academy Award.”

Bryce, you’re not fat, you’re just wearing the most unflattering top ever created by the human race.

It’s a lot like the Expanded Universe in that it’s boring and repetitive and there was a scene where everything stopped so a character could talk about drinking caf.

That lion wasn’t hurting anybody and then Idris Elba comes along, holds him down and fihgts him. Right there. Fihgting. On screen. For like two hours.

Rod Montoya is more of a Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Battle of the Sexes 2 kind of guy, New Mexico’s greatest claim to fame. He wants a statue of a real hero, Challenge Winner Eric Nies from The Real World: New York erected in Santa Fe.

They should meld these demographics and do a geriatric Justice Society series.

Letter Grade: B for Better Than A.

These reviews are Manuel rehearsing for the more thoughtful reviews he’ll be writing when it comes time to write his reviews.

They won’t let me bring a backpack into the theater. This guy’s trying to sneak in a whole movie.

I thought it for a second and now that second has turned into hours:

Can confirm. Yes. The actor is Tobias Segal. It’s not only the same actor. It’s the same actor in the same wardrobe.