Considering Tarantino's depictions of torture, gun violence and near-constant use of the n-word, you'd think the LAPD and NYPD would instead erect 30 foot bronze statues of Calvin Candie with plaques that read, "Our moral compass."

It's true. Satan shows up out of nowhere. The leadup lulls you into this false sense of boredom and then WHAM! "Here ya go kids - have some nightmares! Forever!"

As a kid I was babysat almost exclusively by public library reading programs. Sometimes they showed children's movies. The Adventures of Mark Twain was in pretty heavy rotation at my local library during the early 90's. Luciferian claymation trigger warning:

Bokeem Woodbine is electric on this show. Here's hoping he gets a lot more opportunities like this one instead of lost in the shuffle as the fourth male lead on Chicago Fire or something.

He's at home, washing his tights.

Ted Haggard: Bringing the camp to Jesus Camp.

**Takes out George W. Bush cardboard cutout.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM, GURRRL!

You can get a book deal for imagining "What if Clarissa Had Sex?"

Where do I donate to get them to make this show forever?

Fuckin' leg amputations from Type 2 diabetes, how do they work?

That's not Darth Vader. That's Aapt Beñaep. It says so right on the nameplate.

Just think of how many terrible decisions Rick can make in a supersized episode of The Walking Dead.

I think this also means you've never waited in line for anything ever.

"So here's what we know: Three cops from three different departments investigate the murder of Ben Caspere, a corrupt city manager from Vinci, California. But who was Ben Caspere? What's his connection to tough guy crime boss Frank Semyon? And how does this tie into a shadowy cabal overseeing the development of The…

Prediction: Their final busted myth?

As long as his stand-in can handle 70% of the coverage and Bruce walks home with an 8-figure payday, all shitty ideas will uncannily sound like good ideas.

A sweet, kindly vampire grandpa.

There's a very specific audience for this movie and I like to assume these people are intellectually and emotionally inferior to the rest of us.

That Tannen boy seems like a nice young man with healthy boundaries.