This article makes me want to put on a lady wig and pee all over the candy in a Texas drugstore.

Nay. I say nay.

I think it's far more likely that Rihanna got Leonardo DiCaprio pregnant.

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(creepy undead Flintstones laugh track confirms joke.)

Though he's still is a pocket monster.

From the dust jacket:

Which one is the smart one?

I don't know about you, but my cumberbatch is exhausted.

"Let's see…who gets killed first? Well we don't have a black detective to kill…how about the gay guy! Genius! Then the two attractive, heteronormative people can fall in love! Tough luck, CHIPS cop! But hey - you should feel honored that we included your kind to begin with." - Nicky Pizz, blowing his nose in a hundred…

That's just the first stage of the Kübler-Ross model. Followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance.

That's far more realistic than anyone desperately hoping Chad might be their son.

Dear Chad,

"Tonight, only one true detective will receive a rose…"

There's no new Halt and Catch Fire to be filed under "regular coverage." Their season is over.

The first half follows Alice (Amy Adams), a woman who receives a book
manuscript from her ex-husband (Jake Gyllenhaal) whom she left 20 years
earlier.

Clearing the way for a Mulder/Walter Skinner romance,

Elena, I hate to air our dirty business in front of The AV Club, but this is the only way to get a hold of you.

♪ ♫ Young Pope! Get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
You better run, pope
You're just too young, pope! ♪ ♫

Franko, is The Red Hulk gonna be okay?