Drunk is my guess. Looks like s/he has spent the last hour trying to pick a fight over this issue. As if there’s a single news outlet in the country that hasn’t printed Heyer’s name half a dozen times today. And that imaginary slight seems to really just be a sloppy excuse to complain about The Root.

Goddamn thieves

That looks like an unknown Baldwin brother who was born with a tail and kept in the attic his whole life.

This is a good and proper foodspin take.

Who’s that guy that isn’t Ley or Giri?

Right around launch he said something about easter eggs. Then he literally said nothing for 3 months. And even then he didn’t bother to address portals at all.

During the game’s launch, the potential existence of portals prompted widespread speculation and fan theories.

world’s longest “fuck me, daddy” tweet

I generally don’t feed cheeseburgers to rabbits, so I don’t understand what lettuce has to do with anything.

That’s nice.

It’s equal parts funny and horrifying that you think that recipe doesn’t prove my point.

It is an indisputable scientific fact that people who like mayo are stupid garbage monsters with defective palates.

I waited. Just wanted to come back and say holy shit!

Condiments on the bottom may be the dumbest take in deadspin history. Including cereal rankings.

You’re not supposed to put the grill lid back on after you apply the cheese. How do people struggle with this? Just take the burgers off before the cheese turns to liquid.

Are you having a stroke?

“really struggling to leave his family.”

I’ll never forgive your mom for giving me the clap.

He’ll just build a seawall. And France will pay for it.

I think someone is sitting in the room with him, holding the phone, while he watches his Fox morning shows. Editing his own tweets as he dictates them.