I forgot that review had the word “cock-blocktopus” in it, and frankly, if that’s not art, I’m not sure what is.

I said exactly the same thing (but with more words, and less well) below! There are so many things to love about that casual act of brutal dismemberment review, so I’ll just offer one of the many glittering lines for your delectation:

“The only good takeaway” is objectively false here. Without this absolute flailing trash inferno of a movie, we wouldn’t have Lindy West’s* poetically savage and savagely poetic takedown of it, and frankly, our lives would be all the poorer. Do I revisit this review every so often just to bask in the reflected glow of…

Also, “Bari” is just a misspelled version of “Barry,” but that’s just the way she is.

Thank you for making me aware of this. It is also excellent.

I have seen and felt Suitsupply’s apparel and I can tell you that once you’re in contact with that low-grade fabric and stiff construction, you do want to tear it off your body as quickly as possible. So, maybe?

And yet, Biden remains committed to student loan relief through good-faith bipartisan legislation and ol’ fashioned “reaching across the aisle” rather than through executive order, which even that wild-eyed socialist radical Chuck Schumer says he is perfectly capable of doing. So, you know, lessons definitely learned…

I am happy to report that Tom Friedman no longer attributes pithy foreign policy stances / man-in-the-street economic analyses / Andy-Rooney-esque “takes” to taxi drivers.

As someone who enjoys stiletto-sharp takedowns and loathes cottage cheese with a “just little off the top and sides” haircut David Brooks, I am obliged to post this wonderful work of the reportorial art. It is from 2004 but truly remains evergreen.

That article is an incredible piece of writing, and if it sounds familiar, it is: quite a lot of it was recycled as plot in the excellent horror film “Candyman.” Here’s the article’s author talking about that aspect of it too:

So let’s go all transactional politics and say: Manchin is basically saying “I’m fine with seriously fucking up my fellow Democrats’ shots at reelection.” Because, let’s be real, “Trump sent me $$$ and then Biden sent me nothing” is going to be a significant factor when casting their next vote for at least a…

Put that sippy cup down! JUICE IS FOR CLOSERS.

Of course! They are both elegant and practical.

She looks a bit like the “Dweller Under the Sink” from the Moomin books, which just adds to her obvious charm. 

That is an objectively excellent dog right there.

Even though it appears to be a touchstone for (sooooo many!) people, I have never liked Bob Dylan’s music. I understand it’s an Important Cultural Thing for a Certain Generation, but ugh dude no.* You may ready your brickbats.

Confirmed! Khloe Kardashian is Eugene Victor Tooms. It all makes sense, wake up sheeple, and so on.

Spoiler: it’s Gorilla Glue.

For some ungodly reason, I had a dream the other night in which I was repeatedly insulting Ted Cruz. The real winner, direct from my subconscious, was:

You’re most likely mad at yourself for denying yourself the pleasures that someone else enjoyed.