Buffy made me laugh.

That newspaper thing tho.

For a second I thought, "Oh no! He died in a car accident." Then, "So...I mean someone has to be this dog's new person, right? Is there like a sign up sheet or...?"

NOOOOOooooo — Oh, good.

My main thought when people comment that the celebrities shouldn't have taken the photos in the first place is "He who is without embarrassing photos cast the first iphone".

I remember the nurse gently wiping my ass for me while I screamed at my husband, "LOOK AWAY, FOR GOD'S SAKE, LOOK AWAY".

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh man, when you fly for business, you learn so much about the human condition.

I literally hate you right now for sharing that story.

That is fascinating.

Beyoncé birthers:

We're just not going to talk about the turtle? Not at all? Ok, paint colors and fish it is.

Never thought much about Shaun White until he chopped his hair off. Made my weakness for gingers kick into overdrive.

Foot. There, fixed it for you.

I hope that means we never have to see her father again. CREEP.

She was amazing — in her capacity for delusion and her white-knuckled grip on the alternate reality in which she seemed to live. She basically called Heather "ghetto" for daring to call Aviva out on her shit. She accused Carol of hiring a ghostwriter to deflect from the fact her own book sucked. She tried to feign…

Then why even comment if you have no idea what you're talking about?

Wait you AND Lindy are leaving??? Is this a mass exodus????

So in all my medical training, I have to say the most gruesome, barbaric thing has to be vaginal birth. It was actually more harrowing that bowel dissection day in the cadaver lab. It is a goddamn miracle that our species is able to perpetuate, considering what women go through to bear children. This is not hyperbole…

This is what made me love her. This woman has some work ethic. Get well soon, Joan!