"Suddenly a blast of air hits my face. Am I dying? Was there an explosion that was timed perfectly to magically lift the protein growing out of my head into a mane of magical golden fleece? I feel as if my entire life is flashing before my eyes yet all I can think about is a tray of chocolate brownies covered in…

Mark, your hope maybe that this woman comes around, and embraces her son, but my hope is that she gets hit by a bus. Yes, I fucking said it. Better for everyone.

Dammit, Peg, can't you just be happy for someone else for once?!

I don't even know why i am watching this show, its terrible. OHHH wait now i remember, i will miss him

Nick Cannon is an ass and an opportunist. If you care about someone's emotional well-being, blabbing about it to the press seems an odd way to show your concern/be helpful. I hope that pre-nup was iron-clad, Mariah.

There were some relationship problems. Some people moved to a different city, there was a discussion of popular television shows, and...someone wants advice on vibrators. GTG!

I'm here all night!

I find this kind of advice to be a little ridiculous.

i am replying to this specifically so if he finds out, there will be a stranger actively participating in the conversation about his penis on the internet.

If I just saw these pictures with no info, I'd be 98% sure this is a realdoll.

"In hindsight, all the warning signs were there"? All the warning signs that he was going to fake his own death.

Ugh. Everyone knows you fake amnesia, not death! Gawd, millennials, get your shit together!

Lindy I'm so glad you found the presence of Dog the Bounty Hunter as randomly diverting as I did.

"He was reportedly in possession of "a pizza and a small amount of cash.""

I mean the real question here is why didn't she just leave the kids with her Nanny, Chef, or Chauffeur?? It just makes no sense.

Michael Scott?

I thought it said "wonton," and was like, "How come no one has ever invited me to a wonton party? I love wontons."

That is one LONG finger.

Maybe if euthanasia were legal, such diagnoses would be a little less scary - at least so early on...the idea that IF things get to a certain point later on, they'll have choices over their life and death and state of living. No, instead, people have to make those choices "while they still can". (Yes, I took jump and…

"So I sez to him, I sez..."