(credit to Mona Chalabi)

This was amazing. Thank you for writing!

Fuck Tom and all the Toms of the world.

OT, but I just had a bunch of Jezebel and Gawker sub-blogs follow me and I just wanna say thank you. Is this happening for everyone who survived the Gawkapocalypse? I can comment on The Slot now and not be in the greys!

If you just drop it in the water without looking, how do you know you’re clean? You just blindly hope there’s not still smearings of shit on your ass?

No joke I think I converted when I was 28 as well. I wouldn’t say I was stand-shamed, but my friends let me know that was not the norm, and there was/is a better way. I’m now 32 and have been sit wiping with no regrets. Thanks to my friend Brian for always shitting with the door open which really broke the ice on this…

Standing up to wipe makes NO SENSE. You are closing up shop when you stand up! What are you wiping - the outer cheek?

This is the funniest thing I've read in weeks. Thanks!

I have a good friend whose in-laws are choosing to express their displeasure about her not taking their last name in the most passive-aggressive way possible. They know she kept her name, but they’ve apparently instructed their entire family to address all cards, invitations, etc. to Mr. and Mrs. Son’s First/Last…

A better world through laziness. Now that’s activism I can get behind. Sorta.

I pretty much didn’t change my name after my marriage out of laziness, but I lied to my husband and said I Felt Strongly About The Patriarchy And My Name is My Name.

I tried to talk my partner into taking a neutral last name (neither his nor mine), but he didn’t like my suggestion: Poodlewrangler.

Michael: Since when are you against leather?

Yeah and that's what makes it gross! I'd be horrified if I ever came in contact with a penis that was QUIVERING

I love that someone can conceive of a way to create leather goods that doesn’t seriously harm the animal. It goes to show that we can create all kinds of fantasies to accommodate our desires. (I say this as someone who is very sad that animals are harmed to make leather goods and steaks but not so sad as to not…

My feelings EXACTLY! I can almost never get off if we head straight for PIV but ready the ground (heh!) and I can cum multiple times. Dudes are gonna come regardless because DICK. I remember trying to explain a woman's orgasm to guy once. I told him for women it's like rolling a ball up a hill. You have to get the…

This is a classic example of hearing "OH MY GOD ARE YOU ILL? YOU LOOK AWFUL" all day when you forget to put on eyeliner.

Hat-Themed wedding.