You should’ve sent that story in. And the next time I go to see a movie, I’m going to ask for a golden shower on my popcorn.

I give myself pep talks. Out loud. No one else will.

If I only drink Vodka I am a Hemingway.

Here comes an awful Mr Hyde story.

This isn’t technically a blackout story, but here goes. Was in Jamaica in 1998 (this is important later) with a girlfriend staying at one of those “all inclusive” places-all you can eat food AND drink. Anyway, we were laying on the lounges pretty close to the water all morning and into the afternoon, drinking the rum…

I’m a super happy, super social drunk, but... I also lose my inside voice. Completely. People across the bar can hear me. People across town can probably hear me. So... Nutty Poppins?

I am a Mrs. Hyde. Shall we have a best blackout thread?

not being on twitter is the new bootstraps. who knew?

omg did you just solve depression? Mind blown.

I feel like this post may be somewhat drink-influenced.

This is where I should admit that I have no idea who Jeffrey is. (hiding head in shame, don’t have cable)

Can’t I be team no one?

Kind of insufferable? Just kind of?

Anthony Bourdain is also kind of insufferable, too, though. He’s getting too old for his own shtick.

Joey doesn’t share food!

Dutchess Do Little is like an a+ insult tho. Lol’d, would LOL again.

• “Matthew is not a compassionate individual. He is a control freak, and the more money he has, the more fucking ruthless he is.”

love this woman!

One of the best nights of my life involved calling every dude in my and my friend’s call logs and screaming “Work It” into their voicemail. Missy has my heart.

haha i want to be like susan sarandon when i grow up