If you were, then I’m sorry for what happened to you in Vietnam.

The woman then said “I don’t eat anything pureed”—apparently her reason for needing whole potatoes.

Bigot tears are low-fat, low-carb, and alcohol free, so you are good. However, call a doctor if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours.

All the torties I’ve known were super-smart and In Charge. My sister once had a cat named Portia who looked much like your Bossy and was about the same size (she looks small from here), and she terrorized any dog that dared to walk by her front yard. Dogs would run by the house, not walk. If she caught one she would…

That’s fantastic! SHe only knocks stuff down when she wants my attention, or by accident (seriously. If I leave the house, everything is fine when I return). The floor-to-ceiling-lamp happened when she botched a jump from a chair to the blinds, tarzan-swung, lost her grip, and nailed the lamp with her butt on the way…

You already got it! San Andreas! But not even I could sit through that... I’m waiting for when it comes on Netflix so I can just fast forward through all the non-Rock parts.

The struggle thirst is real...

I SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.*

I mean.

Yes, but unlike you, I wasn’t scarred for life from the product of his puke. I’m too busy being haunted by the meaning behind the words, ‘silly pancake’.

Thanks. The more details I offer, the more tragic it sounds, which is just ridiculous. (As in, he died the day after my parents’ wedding anniversary, the funeral was the day before my birthday, and I had to go to all my classes during the first week of school with a note asking to excuse my absence later that week so…

ooh! Ooh! My mom’s family is from S. Florida, so “family vacation” always meant “visit Gramma and Grampa in Ft. Lauderdale. Cool. It has a beach! My grandparents live like, on the damn beach so my brother and I would jump out of the car, throw on a swim suit and run head long into the water on a semi public-ish beach…

I got nothing. But one of my most treasured possessions is a postcard from when my two insane adult sisters got to go on vacation with my parents and I sat at home sulking. They filled up a postcard with chirpy passive aggressive “wish you were here having all the fun!” bs and gave it to my awesone dad to mail. It…

I thought it was an impractically-tiny trash bin.

I will try this as soon as I get off work.

It’s really about ethics in censorship...

Man, I used to love to chug a glass of ice cold milk. I think I was in college by the time my gut started protesting.

I had a tough day. I have a very challenging five year old son. He has behavior problems including a lot of anger. We’ve had him evaluated (diagnosis: inattention, disruptive behavior disorder, hyperkinesis, but no ASD) and he gets special ed services at preschool to help him manage his anger and his socialization. I…

Long story short - the year between June6, 2014-June 5, 2015 was very bad for me. It began with a diagnosis of cancer for me, progressed to losing my house to foreclosure, and culminated in the recent death (more cancer) of my wonderful cat, Fresca. I wrote about that here. Thanks so much for the support. So today…

Did you just yadda yadda yadda sex? (please get the seinfeld reference)