Filed to SPEEDNO. I laughed. It was emotional.

Yup. Undies all the time here too. VPL? Do. Not. Care. I just need my junk covered like whoa. I *will* go undies-less to sleep in the following circumstances:

Labiaplasty. More than once, I have managed to completely derail conversation with labiaplasty. It's a gift.

Oh man, I was working this charity event several months ago and trying to flirt with some of the [ridiculously hot] participants. My partner for the day was amused at my zero success rate and I was bitching about how these guys wouldn't piss on me if I were on fire. Finally at the end of the day, he and I are walking…

This is a completely inappropriate response. I'm not hot, and I've been sexually assaulted more than a few times in my life. Not a humble brag. Just fact. I've been threatened, touched, groped, kissed, physically picked up and pressed against a wall, fucked by a fwb while I was passed out drunk (I woke up to him…

I shower and leave my hair wet (it's curly and drying it makes me sweaty). My $3 mascara is in my purse and I put it on at stoplights as I drive to work. If I don't hit any lights on the way to work, I'll throw it on when I park. Done.

I own mascara. And a couple of tubes of awful lipstick shades that I never use, but can't throw away. Anything other than mascara (and eyeliner if it's a fancy occasion) is utterly beyond me. I missed "how to be a girl" classes growing up. Hair also confounds me beyond a ponytail or a basic braid.

OMG I loved that show. It was *SO* bad. And I hated everyone on it, but I watched anyway. Oh yes, I even taped it (that's right, TAPED, on a VHS) when I had to work nights.

HOLY FUCK I'M TALL! (At 5'4" I've never been able to say that)

DU-VAL!

I would argue that elite cheerleaders are definitely athletes, but that cheerleading (like diving and gymnastics) isn't a sport.

I want him to be my baby daddy. I won't tell him about my iud though so we can just. keep. practicing.

I just want to take him home and do nassstttaaaayyyyy things with him. Bless you, TI. I even don't hate those stupid hipster glasses on you.

I think I would go with

I've been where you are now - not with cutting, but in that dark place, with a bottle of vodka and a full rx of migraine meds, and many fantasies of throwing myself in front of on oncoming train or truck. I live far away from my family - to whom, in my darkest times, I feel like an utter and complete disappointment. I…

Happens often. I have Resting Bitch Face and I am told to "smile" by random street men at least once a month. Someday, someone is going to say it to me on the wrong damn day and I am going to bust out some ninja shit.

Offtopic, but goddamn I wish I'd had $5k lying around. I totes would have paid to sleep over at Fiddy's house. See my other thread about my boundless love for him. /sigh

I call shenanigans. No one's favorite hip hop group is B-Minus.

Yo I have to say one of the best luvvahs I ever had was a dude who was neither long, nor thick. He was always rock hard though and he knew wtf he was doing. He made me come every. time. He was kind of a douche (which had nothing to do with his junk), but goddamn he was hot in the sack.

You forgot this one.