Am I the only one with "Detachable Penis" stuck in my head now?

My love for Fiddy is boundless. It started with the lyric, "N***a, you mad? I thought that you'd be happy I made it" and has only grown since then. Come, give me a hug.

Turquoise Jeep!

Smash it and bang.

Looks like she has magic coming out of her fingers. Or a really weird manicure.

I want to do filthy things with Mike Holmes. I'm only the tiniest bit ashamed of that.

My one and only camping experience. I'm a whiny bitch about hiking and being in the woods in general. I prefer urban environments. I was madly in love with this guy and he convinced me to go camping with him one weekend. We hiked the mile or so in to the lake, and I helped him set up camp. We futzed around with our…

5'8" and 140 is plus-sized? I just wept. I'm 5'4" and I am BANGIN' at 140. Presently I'm 188. Any time I weigh less than 130, I look emaciated. Of course, that hasn't happened in 12+ years, so there's that.

YES OH MY GOD. Why do they think we all want to look like bedazzled leopards wearing tents? I'm right on the line of straight sizes and the heaviest I've ever been. I never knew how goddamn hideous and ill-fitting larger sizes are. Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I don't want to show off what assets I have. Bitch, I…

I super mega love their workout capris. I have like five pairs in constant rotation. Everything else they sell can go straight to hell. The last shirt I bought there SHREDDED the first time I washed it. Fuckers.

Slightly off-topic. I met him about a year ago. He was at my office talking to my then-boss and others about some possible partnership opportunities. I semi-stalked him in the hallway and my colleague introduced us. He just gave this huge smile and said, "Hi! I'm LeVar!" I was like, "OMG I KNOW." I'm such a nerd. He…

*cough* Anastasia wasn't a Disney movie. It was better than Disney. :)

I love the name Anastasia.

Oh Ian, my love. The passenger side of my bed awaits. /sigh

A&F smells like date rape. Every time I walk past one of those places, I just want to cross myself or something.

I wouldn't hit that, but it's because his face, not his body. His body in the swimming pics is totally fine. I just think his face is kinda fug. [hides in shame]

I haaaaate French manicures. The only thing worse is French pedicures. They make me gag.

No. They're too firm. That quality does make them ideal for making vodka gummy bears though, because they don't get mushy. They just have to marinate longer to become drunken.

Yours didn't pop out with a birth certificate?

In this case, clearly to be always frenching.